A Cavalier Lesson

I used to drive a 1996 Chevrolet Cavalier convertible. 

It never was supposed to be “my” car.  Kristy wanted it.  Badly.  We were looking for a car for her to drive and could not afford anything new.  Our credit at the time was on the bad side of horrendous, so we could not be terribly picky.  Her eyes lit up when she saw the Cavalier; it was like Ralphie Parker looking at an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock in A Chrismas Story.  She just had to have it.

So, we bought the stinkin’ thing.

At first I rarely drove it.  I had my vehicle and Kristy had the Cavalier.  Technically, the Cavalier was better than the car that I drove.  I’ll admit that much.  But I didn’t like it.

The main problem was a size issue.  I am big–6′7” and over 300 lbs.  The Cavalier was a tiny, two-door car that could fit into my pants pocket.  Basically, I had to fold myself up and put it on in order to drive it.  

We purchased this car before we had many children.  When we started accumulating our brood, we knew that a bigger vehicle was needed.  We became the not-so-proud owners of a Dodge Grand Caravan.  Kristy took possession of the van.  Sadly, I got the Cavalier.

I suppose I could have kept the Corsica that I had been driving, but it had seen better days.  It had a ton of miles on it and the driver’s seat had become a rocking chair.  Seriously.  It wasn’t fixable, so I ended up putting cinder blocks behind the seat to hold it in place.  My neck became a little redder because of this.

Of the two, the Cavalier was in better shape.  So I suppressed my disdain and began driving the stinkin’ thing.

At the time we lived in Oakdale, TN.  If you are a normal person, you have no idea where Oakdale is located.  It is in Morgan County, about 50 miles east of Knoxville and 45 miles north-east of Maryville.  At the time, I worked at the corporate office of Clayton Homes located in Maryville.

This meant that I had a one-hour drive to work each morning and a one-hour drive home each evening, Monday-Friday.  That’s 10 hours per week in the car, by myself.  Each day I drove in 5 counties. 

At the end of every work day, as I got home and crawled out of the Cavalier, I dreaded getting back in it the next morning.

But it got worse.

A few months after becoming the main driver of the Cavalier, the radio was stolen out of it.  We didn’t have the money to replace it.

So instead of just driving 10 hours per week by myself in a car that was much too small for me, I began driving 10 hours per week by myself in a car that was much too small for me….in silence.

At first, I spent a lot of time on the phone while driving in the car.  But that soon became a nuisance.  So most of the time I drove in silence, wondering how in the world I was staying awake.

You might not think it was all that bad; you are wrong.  Go ahead and try it for a few weeks.  You’ll see.

It was bad.  Real bad.

Until I started talking. 

Don’t worry; I didn’t go crazy or anything.  I didn’t talk to myself.

I began talking to God. 

Now, I had prayed off and on for a good portion of my life.  Of course, I prayed more earnestly as I became more committed to the important disciplines of the Faith.  But what I was doing in the silence of the Cavalier was different.

Instead of my prayers being formulaic, they became personal.  Instead of it being something that I should do, praying became something I wanted to do.  Instead of thinking of it as a duty, it became a time to express my love for God and a time to feel Him loving me back.

I shared my burdens with Him without thinking about how I sounded.  I shared my joys with Him in whatever manner I felt appropriate; by singing, shouting, crying, or smiling.  I talked as one who has been showered with love to the One who loves perfectly.

And I listened.

Carefully. 

I listened as He encouraged me.  I listened as He chastised me.  I listened as He told me things about myself that I had not previously known.

My relationship with Him, which had far too often been sporadic at best, blossomed.  My faith in Him increased.  My worship of Him exploded.

About a year later, the Cavalier started giving me problems and the roof began leaking.  I sold it to a neighbor after buying a truck.

Sometimes I think about that car and am amazed that I ever fit into it.  Sometimes I think about all the times I was made fun of by my friends for driving a vehicle that probably weighed less than I do. 

But mostly when I think about that time of my life, I am glad.

It’s a wonderful thing to learn such a valuable lesson; even if the lesson was learned while I was folded up inside of a Cavalier.

Fishbowl Living

Living in a fishbowl means having no privacy.  None.  Zilch.  Nada.  Every discussion dissected, every movement noticed, every heartache shared with whoever is watching at the time. 

Being under a microscope means having your emotions laid bare for all to see.  People with no business knowing your business passing judgement upon you just because they can. 

Living in a glass house means that what could have stayed hidden from view is bathed in light and everyone can see all the dirt and debris. 

Many people say that they don’t want to live in a fishbowl, to be under a microscope, to live in a glass house.

Some of them are lying.

Some of them say they want privacy, yet put intimate details of their lives on blogs.  Some of them say they want to be left alone, yet where they are going, what they are doing, and how they feel gets spread all over Facebook or Myspace or Twitter.

Some say that they want anonymity, yet they allow their lives to be filmed and displayed on national television. 

A little bit of attention is fine.  A little bit of notoriety.  A little bit of fame. 

Until it gets out of hand.  Until the dirt gets messier and the debris gets more personal.

When we live in a fishbowl  most of the time it is our own choice.  The consequences are sometimes good. 

But sometimes it comes crashing down.

I do not follow Jon & Kate Plus Eight, the reality show about the family of Jon and Kate Gosselin.  I have seen it in passing a few times.  But I know what is going on with their lives.

Because fishbowl living has caused them problems.

However, even though we know a lot about them, we don’t know everything.

We don’t know what they think about right before they drift off to sleep.  We don’t know what they’ve been praying for or if they’ve been praying at all.  We don’t know their deepest, darkest emotions.  We don’t truly know all of their thoughts.

You see, even when we are in a fishbowl or under a microscope or in a glass house, there are still things that we keep hidden; things that are stuffed deep down. 

No one sees these things.

Except God.

The Creator knows His creation.  The ups and downs are known in detail by the Master before they ever occur. 

Our thoughts are known before we think them.  Our words are heard before they are spoken. 

The Sovereign One knows why you are the way the you are.  The scars left on your psyche are not foreign to Him; He was there when the wounds were being made.

He was also there when your actions caused the wounds of another.  He knows how you have hurt those closest to you.

Our lives are not merely being lived in a fishbowl that He can peer into; He has intimate knowledge of every detail. 

Even the details that we have forgotten or repressed are fresh in His memory.

And He loves us anyway.

Passionately, deeply, amazingly.

Like a cool breeze flowing by us on a scorching, summer day.

His love can bring great peace into our lives if we have a relationship with Him through Christ.

We can sit back and relax.

We can rest easy with the knowledge that the scars we inflicted on others are forgiven by the scars inflicted upon Jesus.

We can rest comfortably in the arms of the Savior knowing that the One who knows us best loves us the most.

We can have peace because of the Prince of Peace. 

With God, with ourselves, with everyone.

Lay back upon the green pastures and look over at the still waters and be glad.

Why I Did Not Kill My Dogs

A few years ago I almost murdered two dogs. 

Actually, that may not be completely accurate.  It wasn’t like I had a gun to their heads or a knife to their throats or anything else like that.  I did, however, express my dislike of them in a vociferous manner. 

I yelled.  Loudly.  I told them that I hated them and wished that they would just die.  They didn’t deserve this type of treatment and I am not proud of what I did.  I’m just reporting what happened.

Smidgen was a dalmation mixed with some kind of hound dog.  She was white with black spots and had the kindest eyes I have ever seen.  Blessed with a sweet disposition, she would often sit next to me on the couch with her head in my lap.

Amos was supposedly a full-blooded beagle, but with his bowed legs and sizeable midsection he probably had a little bit of basset hound in him.  He was a good friend; one of the best I’ve ever had. 

I’m not quite sure what set me off that day.  We had loaded the kids along with Smidgen and Amos in the little Dodge Grand Caravan that we had then and traveled to Knoxville from our then-home in Oakdale.  On the way to my mother-in-law’s house, Kristy had to make a stop at a clothing store to look for a dress.

I sat in the van with the kids and the dogs.  That is when the incident happened.

It gets kind of hazy from  this point.  I know that one or both of the dogs did something that I did not like; I’m just not sure what.  Whatever it was, I did not handle it well.

My blood pressure shot up as my voice increased in volume.  I could feel myself sweating and my heart beating.  Then I realized that the people sitting in their cars near me might be able to see my little outburst.  I needed to calm down.

So I picked up my Bible.

What I am about to tell you normally doesn’t happen to me.  In fact this may be the only time that it has ever happened to me.  But it is the absolute truth.

My Bible fell open to the book of Proverbs chapter twelve.  I looked down right at verse number ten.  That is where I (the one who just moments before went berserk screaming at 2 helpless dogs) read these words:

“A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.”

That’s when I prayed the most unique prayer of my life:  “Crap, God!  I’m sorry.” 

Then I looked over at Smidgen and Amos.  I apologized profusely while patting their heads.  They wagged their tails profusely and tried to lick me.

I explained to my children that Daddy shouldn’t have yelled like that and that they should never do what they had just witnessed me do.  I don’t think they fully comprehended it because they were too young.  

Then I looked out the window, amazed at how God reveals Himself to a moron like me.

I smiled knowing that God loves me in spite of my foolishness. 

And He loves you the same way.

Me, You, and Shia

Shia LaBeuf is not a name that everyone knows, but his face is one that most have seen.  Maybe you (or your child) used to watch the Disney Channel’s Even Stevens or maybe you have see the movies Holes.  It’s possible that you saw him in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull playing the title character’s son or being protected by Bumblebee in Transformers. 

Some of his characters have been shy and awkward.  Others have been cocky and opinionated.  Either way, he has gained fame and fortune doing something that millions of people can only dream about.

But in real life he struggles with doubts and questions that seem to give him little rest.

I read an article the other day in Parade Magazine about Shia by Dotson Rader.  It made me sad.

In it he is quoted as saying, “Sometimes I feel I’m living a meaningless life and I get frightened.” 

About feeling unworthy, he says “I have no idea where this insecurity comes from, but it’s a God-sized hole.  If I knew, I’d fill it, and I’d be on my way.” 

About why things have happened in his life, he says, “I have no answers to anything.  None.  Why am I an alcoholic? I haven’t a d— clue!  What is life about?  I don’t know.”

In many ways, I have been where he is.  So have you. 

Struggling, wondering, searching.  Never grasping what it is that you know is missing.  Others around you have the answers to questions that you are not asking. 

The sadness I feel for Shia could be described as empathy–knowing how he feels.  But it also comes from knowing that he is not looking in the right places for the answers that he is seeking. 

He is worried about living a meaningless life when the One who gave him life is eager for a relationship with him.

He calls it a “God-sized hole,” yet he is trying to fill it with anything but God. 

Relationships.  Fame.  Money.  Alcohol.  But not God.

He wonders what life is about.

It is about what it has always been about. 

God and His glory.

Extolling the worth of the One who gives worth to all other things.

Resting in the sovereignty of the Almighty.

I’ll be praying for Shia, for me, and for you.  That we will all realize that what we have been looking for is very close to each one of us. 

God and God alone.

Ramblings of Praise

When I am weak the adversary strikes with vengeance, but the hand of the Lord keeps my soul from danger.

His strength is greater than the weaknesses of man.  He ever stands as guardian of the righteous;

For the righteous do know that apart from Him they have only deeds deserving of death.

Because they trust in the righteousness of the Eternal King, He will do good to them for the sake of His name.

Let those who trust in weapons see the folly of their ways; let those who are enamored with empty words spoken by lying lips gain understanding.

The ways of the wicked are continually before the eyes of man; vile actions of the unrighteous are viewed day and night.

Counsel is given by those who lack understanding, by those who do not fear the Mighty One.

Only those who trust in the Lord will be forever satisfied; only those who are satisfied in the Lord shall be able to stand firm in days of distress.

Open our eyes, O Lord; let us not be led astray from your truth by the multitudes.

You alone are sovereign; you alone deserve all glory.  Let all creation exalt your name, let us praise your greatness forever.

Be Christlike

Two words of instruction.  Over and over and over.  Two words that followed me all throughout childhood.  Over and over and over.  Two words that are still said to me by people who are well-meaning and who love me.  Over and over and over.

I suppose that I will never be completely free from these 2 words:

Be careful.

On my way to school; be careful.  Going to basketball practice; be careful.  Heading to an event with the youth group from church; be careful.  Walking across the field to my grandmother’s house; be careful.  Using scissors or a hammer or fingernail clippers; be careful.  Doing anything at all and for no reason at all; be careful.

Frankly, I have long since grown tired of hearing those 2 words.  And I have my reasons.

For some people saying these 2 words has grown to be a habit.  They just say them at the end of every conversation.  Kind of like ”bye” or “talk to you later” or “take it easy.”  These people do not seem to realize how silly it is to tell normal, somewhat sane people to be careful.  Do they think that I plan on being careless as I use sharp objects or go swimming?  Do they think that if they do not tell me to be careful that I will come unglued and begin behaving as though I have no sense at all? 

Them:  Be Careful.

Me:  Oh my goodness!  Thanks for telling me that.  Without you here to instruct me to be careful I probably would have walked headlong off of a cliff.  But since you said “be careful,” I will be sure not to do such an ignorant thing. 

Sorry for such sarcasm.  I’m hoping you see and commiserate with my aggravation. 

Those words that entered my brain over and over served to make me afraid.  As a child, I often experienced anxiety over all of the things out there that could potentially harm me (even though very few of those things ever happened).  Being constantly reminded to “Be careful,” served as an accomplice to my worries and caused me great distress.  There was not a problem around every corner, but it felt like there would be around the next. 

Those who kept saying the 2 words I now abhor had my best interest at heart.  They cared about me; about what could happen.  They wanted me to keep my eyes open; to be aware.  But those words combined with my alreay shy and skittish personality dampened my ability to take risks regardless of the possible rewards.

I was paralyzed by being careful.

But now, I have overcome this.

There are 2 new words that are at the forefront of my mind.  Two words that help me to take risks when appropriate, yet at the same time help me keep my guard up against real threats.  I do not repeat these words over and over to myself and no one else ever says them to me, but I strive to live my life by them anyway.

Be Christlike.

Be Christlike.

Be Christlike.

Being Christlike covers being careful without taking it too far.  When I am being Christlike I am aware of the real dangers out there without worrying about the imaginary ones.  It also means that while I am aware of the real dangers, I am not controlled by them.  They do not make me afraid for I know that my Savior is leading me.

Being Christlike allows for greats risks because truly following Jesus implies that there will be plenty of risks involved.  I know that while I following the Master by living life on the edge, the great net of His grace is there to catch me when I fall.

It’s a good feeling, trust me.

People still tell me to “be careful” from time to time.  When they do I usually give them an inward cringe and whisper to myself–”Be Christlike.” 

It’s better that way.

It Can Be Messy

Christianity is more than just theory.  It is more than just propositions about truth and what is the best way to do things.  If this is all it was, it would not really help us in the real world.  And it would be a whole lot less messy.

Take the whole “fogiveness” thing.  In theory, it sounds good.  We have been forgiven much, so we should forgive much.  No matter what others do to us or how often it is done–we forgive.  Just like that.

Then you get hurt deeply.  Or your spouse gets hurt deeply.  Or your children get hurt deeply.  Or a bunch of people that you love get hurt deeply all at the same time.  It’s not just a little bit of hurting that is going on–it’s a lot. 

Other people get angry at the offender and use Scripture to support why they feel the way that they do.  And they want you to be angry with them.  If you are not angry with them, they become angry with you.

You know that you need to forgive, but to some people forgiving the offender makes you somewhat equal to the offender even though you are merely acting in the same manner that Christ acted toward you.

In fact, you know that forgiving the offender is the right thing to do.  More than that, you know that the offender has been ostracized and rejected by so many others who claim to follow Jesus even though Jesus would not have done the same.

It can be messy following Christ.  We were never promised anything different, really. 

Only that we would never walk alone.

(I am not dealing with any of this type of thing right now.  But I have been pondering it as I have seen it happen far too frequently.  Christians not following the example of Christ.  It gets tiresome, doesn’t it?)

Website for Stoney Point Baptist Church

If you haven’t done this in a while, I encourage you to check out the website of Stoney Point Baptist Church:  www.spbcfamily.com.  While it is not “finished” yet, there are new features on it that I think may be helpful to some of you.

A big thanks to Kelly for getting the ball rolling and for Jennifer for her help, as well.  The largest portion of the “credit,” has to go to Daniel.  He is a whiz at all things computer-related and has done a tremendous job of giving the website more of what it really needed.

And thank you in advance for taking a look at it.  Go back from time to time to see the new things that will be added.

1 Corinthians 9:19-23

I’m really digging this passage right now. 

 ¹⁹For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.

 ²⁰And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;

 ²¹To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.

 ²²To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.

 ²³And this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you.

 We began looking at this passage during our Wednesday Night service last week with the theme of “Now What?” 

What I mean by this particular theme is this:  Now that we have been saved, what are we to be doing?  What should drive us, motivate us, and get us up and going day after day?

Our jobs?  Our families?  Our health?  Our bills?  Surely our lives are more important than those things (even though those things do have some importance). 

If we believe the Scriptures, we should believe that our lives are to be lived for God’s glory and for the upbuilding of His great Kingdom.  To that end we should be willing to become whatever we need to become (short of sin) in order to reach more people with the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

To often, we want to be who we are as individual Christians and as churches and expect everyone to conform to our way of doing things.  This is not biblical.

We should NEVER change the message.  It is true today, tomorrow, and forever. 

We should, however, re-evaluate how the message is presented and do all we can to reach everyone we can for the sake of the Kingdom.

What do you think?

When God is Most Glorified in Us

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.

(Let’s look at that again, this time a little bit slower)

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.

I read this in a book by John Piper, the Pastor for Preaching and Vision at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  He is also an author, scholar, guest evangelist, and many other wonderful things. 

Piper’s passion is to exalt God and to show that God is inifinitely worthy of exultation. 

This particular quote has recently caught my heart, especially as I witness professed followers of Jesus not being satisfied with anything. 

If we say we believe in the sovereignty of God, we must believe that God ordains the things that are.  If this is true, then being satisfied with the things that are is part of being satisfied in God. 

Do you want to glorify God? – Then be satisfied in Him.

Be satisfied in the blessings that flow from His hands.  Be satisfied with the trials that have made their way into your life.  Be satisfied with your looks, your job, your bank account, your everything. 

Be satisfied with what God decrees and know that is for His glory and your good.

Be satisfied.