Profiled by Girl Scout Cookies

15 Mar 2011

Profiled by Girl Scout Cookies

“I hate Girl Scout Cookies.” This is what I yelled at the Girl Scouts who were posted outside of Wal-mart a couple of weeks ago when they asked us if we wanted to buy any cookies. I did it mostly to be funny (I made sure that they knew that I was only kidding), but I also did it to dissuade them from laying “it” on too thick. And by “it” I mean their ability to make their eyes appear 67% rounder and 97% more hopeful of making a sale than normal. We had already purchased at least 15 boxes from various people. My waist-line did not need any more.

It’s not that I dislike Girl Scout Cookies. I do like them. A lot. But not for the reason that you might think. The real reason that I like Girl Scout Cookies is that they provide an excellent way to profile people. If I can find out what a person’s favorite Girl Scout Cookies are, I can learn more about them than their Facebook profile even reveals. But maybe you don’t know what your favorite Girl Scout Cookies are saying about you. To correct this I have decided to share my research with you featuring the top five best-selling types of Girl Scout Cookies and what they say about those who pick them as their favorite.

WARNING: The research that these conclusions are built upon is based entirely on observations.

Thin Mints: You are the owner of a mini-van, a time-share, or a poodle. You are a fan of soap operas and possibly professional wrestling. You have been concerned about your weight most of your life, thus the word “thin” resonates deep within your subconscious mind. You are a smoker (or an ex-smoker), probably of Virginia Slims. You buy 30 boxes of them every year and put most of them in the freezer. You plan on eating a couple of cookies a day, but all of the boxes are empty within a week. But you aren’t worried because the are THIN mints.

Samoas: You are a woman.

Tagalongs: You are a man who likes football, baseball, and basketball and when SportsCenter shows hockey highlights you change the channel to something more interesting, like static or Dr. Phil. You drool a little when you see a box of Tagalongs, but not as much as when you sleep because that would just be too weird. Your favorite color is plaid and your favorite fabric is flannel, however you would never tell anyone this because manly men don’t discuss fabric.

Do-si-dos: You ate a lot of sandwiches as a child, especially peanut butter sandwiches. Your favorite part of Vacation Bible School was snack-time when you got to eat cookies and drink weak Kool-Aid. You miss the care-free days of your youth and the freedom that came along with Summer vacation. You don’t mind that the name of your favorite Girl Scout Cookie sounds like a barn dance move.

Trefoils: You have the taste buds of a 3-year-old.

Were these descriptions accurate? Probably not. Does what your favorite Girl Scout Cookies say about you matter? Absolutely not.

What really matters is what Jesus says about you. And He is quite fond of you.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13

If you have entered into a relationship with Jesus, you are His friend. If not, He desires to be your friend and made a way for this to happen.

Your favorite Girl Scout Cookies might reveal a few things about you.

The love Jesus has for you reveals far more.

(What are your favorite Girl Scout Cookies? Are some of the descriptions accurate? When did your relationship with Jesus begin? Share away!)

Posted in Do-si-dos, Faith, Food, Girl Scout Cookies, Humor, Samoas, Tagalongs, Thin Mints, Trefoils

53 thoughts on “Profiled by Girl Scout Cookies”

adam on March 15, 2011 at 7:20 am said:

Tagaolongs, but not a fan of flannel.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 7:21 am said:
  
  It’s not an exact science.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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Jessica on March 15, 2011 at 7:38 am said:

You totally tag(along)ed me.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 7:51 am said:
  
  Very punny.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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ThatGuyKC on March 15, 2011 at 7:40 am said:

Thin Mints. I put them in the freezer and eat them by the sleeve without shame.
Nothing from the “profile” fits. I broke the box.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 7:52 am said:
  
  Are you sure that you don’t own a poodle?
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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Ben on March 15, 2011 at 7:44 am said:

You have me nailed with the tagalong.

Oh, and 16.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 7:52 am said:
  
  You seem like a tagalong kind of guy.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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Dustin on March 15, 2011 at 8:11 am said:

Thin mints + Freezer = Happy Dustin

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 8:28 am said:
  
  I’m glad that samoas aren’t your favorite.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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tnrural on March 15, 2011 at 8:37 am said:

What if I am a Thin mint guy who also enjoys the occasional Tagalong?

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 8:42 am said:
  
  It means you probably dress your poodle in plaid flannel clothes.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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John on March 15, 2011 at 8:45 am said:

Definitely Tagalongs for me, although I don’t wear plaid or flannel. And I distinctly remember the toddlers in my mom’s daycare years back eating cookies very similar to those Trefoils. Yet my wife loves them. Guess because they are simple and there is no chocolate or peanut butter. Which is why I hate them.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 8:48 am said:
  
  The popularity of trefoils is quite astounding considering the alternatives.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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glcoe on March 15, 2011 at 8:49 am said:

I love the Thin Mints, and I do own a poodle… well at least a half poodle mix. The rest is wrong though. I’ve never smoked and can’t stand soap operas or wrestling. And if I bought 30 boxes of cookies – of any kind mind you – they wouldn’t mike it into the freezer. They wouldn’t have time! My husband would devour them first. He’s currently in cookie rehab.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 8:50 am said:
  
  At least I got the poodle thing (half) right.
  
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bill (cycleguy) on March 15, 2011 at 9:12 am said:

I am a Thin Mint guy but just because I like chocolate and mint. i am not into buying the cookies but I do like the ice cream.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 9:19 am said:
  
  I try not to buy a lot of ice cream because I don’t want to weigh 4000 pounds (I love ice cream).
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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Danica on March 15, 2011 at 9:43 am said:

You are not incorrect – I am a woman and I do love samoas!

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 10:02 am said:
  
  Samoas are okay–sometimes. (sorry about editing your comment–please don’t hate me.)
  
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Alise on March 15, 2011 at 10:32 am said:

I’m a Thin Mint gal myself and I DO drive (and love) a mini-van, but I mostly like Thin Mints because they are the best value for your Girl Scout Cookie dollar. If I have a “3 cookies after you finish your supper” rule for the children, a box of Thin Mints goes way further than any other cookie. So mostly what you can learn from me is that I’m cheap.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 10:39 am said:
  
  Makes cents (hehehe) to me.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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Jason Vana on March 15, 2011 at 11:12 am said:

Your profile for me was WAY off. I am not a woman. At least, not last time I checked. I might need to check on that again soon. =P

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 11:14 am said:
  
  If you are a samoa lover you definitely need to keep a close eye on yourself.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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Jay Cookingham on March 15, 2011 at 12:02 pm said:

Samoas and Thin Mints together….ymmmm. Sorry, I was raised by chain smoking (female) wolves.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 12:07 pm said:
  
  Thanks for the explanation. Clears up a lot of questions.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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Rodney Davis on March 15, 2011 at 12:18 pm said:

I love samoas……I have a lot of thinking to do(or possibly therapy)

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 12:25 pm said:
  
  I suggest therapy. For everyone
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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kristinherdy on March 15, 2011 at 12:22 pm said:

it’s Thin Mints for me – no minivan, no poodle, not anything like your description, but I love to dunk them in milk after nibbling the end, so the inside gets soggy and the outside stays crisp – THAT is scientific.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 12:26 pm said:
  
  Thanks for smartening the blog up a bit
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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Michael on March 15, 2011 at 12:33 pm said:

Thin Mints! I can eat them till I get sick.

And then eat more.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 12:34 pm said:
  
  I knew you owned a poodle.
  
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Moe on March 15, 2011 at 1:07 pm said:

Tagalongs. Wow, Plaid makes another appearance in my life. You are like John the baptist, but instead of Locust and honey, you rock Girl Scout Cookies. Awesome!

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 1:15 pm said:
  
  Locust and honey Girl Scout Cookies would be worse than Trefoils.
  
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Duane Scott on March 15, 2011 at 2:37 pm said:

I can honestly say, I’ve never eaten a girl scout cookie.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 2:38 pm said:
  
  Wow–are you a Communist?
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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jason1scott on March 15, 2011 at 2:59 pm said:

I’m worried now that I don’t remember which one a tagalong is. I like the do-si-do’s (but I mostly just like peanut butter). I’ll eat Samoas if that’s all that’s left. Good takeaway too, Matt!

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 3:01 pm said:
  
  Tagalongs are cookie with peanut butter dipped in chocolate. My favorite. Thanks, man.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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ChadJ (randomlychad) on March 15, 2011 at 5:07 pm said:

I don’t eat girl scout cookies anymore. Being 5’11″ & 225 is bad for my health, so I’m low carbing it. Do they have sugar-free Girl Scout cookies?

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 5:13 pm said:
  
  Maybe, but that would be defeating the purpose of GSC.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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Keri @ Pop Parables on March 15, 2011 at 5:34 pm said:

I loooooove Samoas, which now have to the ridiculous name of Caramel Delites. Probably has something to do with not being racist to Samoans, but IDK.

I would never eat the do-si-dos because I just think that is an even more ridiculous name than caramel delites. LOL And, I’m deathly allergic to peanuts so I can’t eat the Tagalongs.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 5:37 pm said:
  
  So sad about you not being able to eat tagalongs. They are only the best cookies ever.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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Brooklyn Cravens on March 15, 2011 at 6:28 pm said:

Thin mints in the freezer are too good. But the profile is way off haha! And I think you were giving an autobiographical profile for tagalongs . Just a hunch, though

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 6:32 pm said:
  
  You’ll own a mini-van one day.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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  - Brooklyn Cravens on March 15, 2011 at 6:48 pm said:
    
    hahaha well said.
    
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sistainsane on March 15, 2011 at 8:17 pm said:

I used to own a mini van, tried smoking a couple of times and was a bit disapointed in the experiences (but my maiden name is Smoker), would love to be a pro-wrestler, and could probably eat a box a day … yeah, you’re not far off your mark with the Thin Mints. Very weird. You should consider joining the FBI.

Met Jesus as a little girl. Before I had my first Girl Scout Cookie. I think.

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- seekingpastor on March 15, 2011 at 8:20 pm said:
  
  You probably have a better shot at being a wrestler than I do of being a part of the FBI. Glad you met Jesus–He is the best!
  
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Jason on March 15, 2011 at 11:46 pm said:

““I hate Girl Scout Cookies.””

I actually do.

That builds tension in my house when my daughter the Girl Scout wants to sell them.

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- seekingpastor on March 16, 2011 at 12:10 am said:
  
  Ooohhh–that would be bad. Wow.
  Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
  
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Michelle on March 16, 2011 at 12:04 am said:

thin mints… i do own a mini van. No poodles. I didn’t struggle with weight until I had kids. I don’t like soaps or wrestling. No way on the smoking bit. But yes, I do eat them all in like one week. LOL

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- seekingpastor on March 16, 2011 at 12:14 am said:
  
  It is inexact–but you did fit the profile a little bit Thanks for stopping by.
  
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Rob on March 16, 2011 at 4:45 am said:

You are spot on. I love somoas. Wait, you said that I am a women. Um…I mean I like the ones that make me a lumber jack with the flannel and all.

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- seekingpastor on March 16, 2011 at 6:51 am said:
  
  Glad you caught yourself there–I was beginning to worry.
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The Seeking Pastor

Seeking to live, laugh, and love like Jesus