Prophetic Thursday: Thirty-One Copycats
Welcome to Prophetic Thursday here at the blog. Every Thursday I will peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see the last 2 posts in this series click Here and Here.
Thirty-One Copycats
“I’m going to a Thirty-One party.” Have you ever heard anyone say this? This statement doesn’t mean that the person is going to a party for 31-year-olds or that it will only last one minute over half an hour. It means that the person is going to a party where “stylish purses, accessories and products that help organize the lives of busy women and their families” will be on display and sold.
It seems that part of the reason for the the popularity of Thirty-One products is that the name of the company comes from Proverbs 31, a beloved passage that describes a virtuous woman. I know of very few Christian women who don’t own a Thirty-One purse or who haven’t been to a Thirty-One party.
Given the success of this company it is only a matter of time before copycats start showing up. Here are a six Proverbs inspired companies that you can expect to see in the coming years:
1. Proverbs 21:19 Camping Equipment. Because it is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman.
2. Proverbs 29:18 Eyewear. “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Talk about a hard sell–see better or people die.
3. Proverbs 24:13 Honey. The Bible says to eat honey ”because it is good.” Winnie the Pooh gives his approval.
4. Proverbs 27:27 Goat Milk. Your whole family will enjoy it–even your maids.
5. Proverbs 28:19 Tractors. Especially if you like bread. A lot of bread.
6. Proverbs 23:13 Rods. Guaranteed to hurt the person you beat–but not kill him.
I realize that none of these may ever reach the level of success that Thirty-One is now having. I realize that some of them aren’t even good ideas.
But I think that at least one of them has a shot at really hitting it big.
And when it happens remember that you heard it here first.
(What other Proverbs inspired products/services can you come up with? What about products/services inspired by verses found in other books of the Bible? Have some fun and share away!)
On those cold winter nights, nothing’s better at keeping you warm and toasty than a Proberbs 7:17 “Myrrh” Bed–because sleeping in it will take you to Sheol.
Ha–Nice. Maybe it would help my wife’s feet not be freezing cold.
Proverbs 13:25 Food- fills the righteous but makes the wicked miserable. (Certainly could help one judge another better).
Proverbs 12:19 Lips- Tell the truth you keep your lips. Tell a lie and your tongue curls up and dies or falls out.
Proverbs 5 Adultery Sensor- No explanation needed.
The adultery sensor would be a hit with the wives of politicians.
For the record, I’ve never been to a 31 party.
But you do own a 31 purse, right? If not you need to get on it so that other women know you really are a Christian
I own nary a 31 product!
Impossible!
I had never heard of 31 products. But then, I’m not a woman, so maybe I can get a pass on that.
I love the camping equipment idea! But I have a question. If a man buy’s the Proverbs 21:19 camping equipment, and his wife reads the verse, if he’s wearing Proverbs 29:18 glasses will she be prevented from killing him?
Let’s hope so!
Believe it or not…I’m “speechless” or “wordless” depending on blog speak. Thanks for the early AM grins bro’
Speechless–wordless–commentless. Whichever–thanks, man.
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This is good. I have already submitted my info for the copyrights for the Honey and Tractors…!
As long as you give me a cut of the profits.
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i have never been to a 31 party either but i do find it comical when a company uses a bible verse
Yeah–it seems like a good company and the people involved are friendly.
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yeah finally put my site here
Every Proverbs 31 woman needs a day-planner. Duh!
No doubt–to keep up with all the 31 parties they have to attend.
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Proverbs 3 Pace Makers – keeping the word of God in your heart so you don’t drop dead. Again.
Yes–very good. And they should last much longer than normal pace makers.
Proverbs 30:33 butter and bandages.
Thanks Matt.
Butter and bandages–delicious and handy.
Man – I’ve never heard of a 31 party – but I can tell you – I’m NOT going.
There is usually free food there, though.
I like nachos and doughnuts – are these served there?
Maybe–depends on what the host wants.
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Wow, my wife in the last couple months bought like 3 things from 31.
Goat Milk? I literally LOL’d.
I’ve heard that it’s not that b-a-a-a-a-a-d.
Proverbs 27:14: Noise Isolation Headphones: “He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, It will be counted a curse to him.”
Proverbs 31:6: Depression Winery: “Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to those who are bitter of heart.
The second one would probably be a big seller.
John 11:35 Handkerchiefs and Kleenex: “Jesus wept.”
Make that John 11:35 Handkerchiefs and Facial Tissues, so Kleenex doesn’t sue me for copyright violation. :>
Way to cover your butt
And good one by the way.
I used to get Writer’s Digest magazine back in the day, and Kleenex was one of several companies that took out ads in the front reminding writers not to use their brand names as common words. Technically, they ask writers to say “Kleenex brand facial tissues.” Hand me a tissue is less unwieldly though.
Proverbs 12:1 The stupid stick Beat your children with it or they will be stupid.
I’ve never heard of the 31 gifts thingy. Although I am 31 and I should get a cut of sales for the remainder of the year.
And if you use it, they might still be stupid but at least you’ve done your part.
I’ve never heard of the 31 products, nor do I own any (kind of hard to own something you don’t know exists). But then, I’m also not a Proverbs 31 woman. I’m not married…and doesn’t look like any chance of that happening any time soon, if at all
(.
31 purses and products are a big deal around here. I see their products everywhere.
How about Proverbs 6:9 alarm clocks?
I need one of those.
I’d never heard of Thirty-One, but I tend to be out of the loop. I love that the site is thirty-one *gifts* – because no godly woman would buy a purse for herself
Unless they are gifts for themselves–my wife has done plenty of that