Field Trips and Rebellion

If all goes as planned, I will be going on a field trip with my eldest daughter tomorrow. Where are we going? I haven’t a clue.

Yes, she’s told me where we’re going. No, I haven’t retained it. Because I have to remember the names of all 5 of my kids, I am very selective on what else I choose to remember. To wear pants? Yes! To drive on the right side of the road? Yes! The Macarena? Yes! Field trip destinations? Not so much.

Regardless of where we end up there is one thing I know for sure: I will lead my group off the beaten path at least once.

I’m no non-conformist. You can tell this by my conservative wardrobe, my lifelong commitment to one hairstyle, and my insistence on my bologna always having a first name. The wildest thing about me is that I don’t mind if my socks are mismatched.

However, when it comes to strictly following instructions given on field trips of where to go and where not to go, I’m a smoldering cauldron of mischief.

Okay, maybe that is a slight overstatement of the truth. The truth is, while I do normally veer off the beaten path slightly it isn’t because I am some sort of super-secret rebel. It is because I am human and all humans are rebels.

All people are born with a sin nature which leads us to being in open rebellion against a holy God. We are sinners with an inherently rebellious nature bent on having and going our own way. This rebellion leads us to destruction and a destination of eternal separation from God.

Unless….

Unless we respond to the Gospel with faith in Christ and repentance of my sins.

I don’t like that we are rebels. I do like that God made a way for us to be adopted into His family.

And I am going to slightly disregard the field trip instructions tomorrow. Just because.

How do you rebel in harmless ways?

Three Suggestions for Playing Mr. Rogers

I just read of a proposed movie about the life of Mr. Rogers. Yes–THAT Mr. Rogers.

Why is this so exciting? Because there are just not enough movies about cardigan-wearing men with imaginary friends.

Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood was a part of my childhood. Sure, I was more of a Sesame Street kind of guy, but it was still nice to know that Mr. Rogers was always there with good lessons on life with help from his friends in the “Neighborhood of Make-Believe.”

Whether I would really pay money to see a movie about Mr. Rogers all depends on who plays hi m. So, who should it be? Here are my suggestions:

1. Not Johnny Depp. I know Johnny Depp is a great actor; one of the best in the world. Whatever. The fact that he is playing Tonto in The Lone Ranger has caused me great distress and made me not want to see him playing anyone in any movie that I will ever want to see. Ever. Not that I’m bitter or anything.

2. Matt Damon. Maybe snopes.com is wrong and maybe Mr. Rogers really was a Navy Seal or a sniper during the Vietnam War and maybe the “Neighborhood of Make-Believe” was really a stronghold for his enemies that he tried unsuccessfully to penetrate every day and maybe he faked his own death so he could finally capture King Friday XIII (who is actually an evil criminal mastermind). That would be a great movie and Matt Damon would be an awesome as a Mr. Rogers meets Jason Bourne kind of character.

3. John Piper. Dr. Piper is retired from his pastorate now and since I’m sure he’s not collecting seashells on a beach somewhere, maybe he would like a chance to do a little acting.

Those are my suggestions. I realize they aren’t very good.

Honestly, it doesn’t matter all that much to me. What matters to me is that Fred Rogers did his best to spread a little kindness and gladness in a venue where both are in short supply.

We would do well to emulate him in this. Our neighborhoods still need it.

Who do you think should play Mr. Rogers?
How are you spreading kindness in your neighborhood?

Resolution #4: Seek

This week I will be telling you my resolutions for 2013. I will return to normal blogging next week. Happy New Year!

Callling this resolution #4 is a little misleading since it is the most important one.

I resolve to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.

The Bible tells me if I do this then the other things I need will be added unto me. And since I am “the Seeking Pastor” it makes sense that I would seek the most important thing.

Maybe you’ll join me.

What is your most important resolution for 2013?

Resolution #3: Walking

This week I will be telling you my resolutions for 2013. I will return to normal blogging next week. Happy New Year!

One of the ways I lost weight last year is that I didn’t eat things that tasted good.

Ok, this is a little bit of an overstatement. I ate a few things that tasted good, but not a lot.

The other thing I did was walk.

A LOT.

So, another resolution is to walk at least 9 miles per week. That is walking at least 3 miles a day, at least 3 days per week. I hope to walk more than this, however that goal is accounting for bad weather weeks and illness.

I also plan on moonwalking a little bit, but that is more for fun than for health.

Do you walk for exercise?
If so, where do you walk?

Resolution #2: Lose Weight

This week I will be telling you my resolutions for 2013. I will return to normal blogging next week. Happy New Year!

My second resolution for 2013 is to lose weight?

Hold on–didn’t you lose weight last year? Thanks for the question.

Yes–I lost about 50 pounds last year, but I have gained around 15 or so back.

So, once again I resolve to lose weight.

As soon as we use all of the McDonald’s gift cards we were given for Christmas.

Are you going to try to lose weight this year?

Resolution #1: Grow an Awful Beard

This week I will be telling you my resolutions for 2013. I will return to normal blogging next week. Happy New Year!

New Year’s Resolutions, if they are to stick, must be made public. I’m not sure if this is true or not, but it can’t hurt.

So here is my 1st resolution for 2013:

Grow an awful beard.

Ultimately, I want a good-looking beard. I’ve tried several times in the past only to give up too quickly. One problem is my beard seems to grow in patchy. Another problem is I spend a few hours each week in front of people and feel weird with them looking at me with a scraggly beard.

I have come to a conclusion, though, that might help me.

For a beard to look good it must first spend time looking bad.

So if I want a good-looking beard, I must first be okay having an awful beard.

Do I have what it takes to stick it out? I’m not sure.

But I’m sure going to try.

What’s one resolution you have for 2013?
Have you ever grown a beard? If so, what did it look like?

When the Words Won’t Come

I haven’t felt like writing for a few days. Seeing the images and hearing the stories of the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT has dampened my desire.

Romans 12:15 tells us to “mourn with those who mourn.”

That is what I have been doing instead of writing.

I’ll probably start writing again in a day or two.

But for now, the words just won’t come.

May the Lord comfort those who are grieving.

And may those parents who are grieving the most replace the vision of their children being cruelly shot by an evil man with a vision of them being cradled by the glorious Savior.

As Did The Grave

The manger
held him
gently.

The cross
held him
harshly.

They both
held him
temporarily.

As did
the grave.

My Most Important Label

I read this article earlier this week about some angry customers at a restaurant in California who were upset about something written on their receipt. Printed at the top of the receipt they received were the words “Fat Girls.”

The first thing I thought when I read this was “WOW!”

The second thing I thought of was how often this might have been done to me without me noticing it.

The third thing I thought was what might have been printed about me at the top of those receipts.

Here are a few ideas:

1. Fat Guy with A LOT OF KIDS! I’m a fat guy with a lot of kids, so this would seem to be a no-brainer.

2. Gomer Pyle with a Goatee. I’ve been told I look like a young Gomer Pyle, especially around the eyes. Shazaam!

3. Prayer Dude. Most of the time I ask the waiter or waitress if there is anything I can pray for them about before we say the blessing.

4. The Heavy Drinker. This is especially true after I preach. And I’m talking about Diet Dr Pepper or Sweet Tea, not alcohol. I’ve never imbibed (unless you count Nyquil).

5. The Adult with Child-like Taste Buds. I have the taste buds of a four-year-old and I’m not afraid to admit it.

I’m sure there are plenty of other labels that waiters/waitresses could use to describe me. Thankfully, the labels that could be applied to me really don’t matter.

Why?

Because of the label that God uses for me: His.

That stands above all other labels and will carry me all the way Home.

What are some labels that waiters/waitresses could use for you?

 

Toenail Clippers and Christmas

There is one thing that people my age can almost always agree on: the world may never know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.

Do you remember that commercial? The one with the owl? Seems like I saw it every Saturday while watching cartoons back when cartoons were, you know, good. Yes, I know there are a few good ones, like….well, there might be some good ones I haven’t seen. Anyway, knowing exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop was seen as an impossible thing to know.

Another impossible thing to know is exactly how many toenail clippers are currently somewhere in my house.

For the past several years, I have purchase new clippers at least every other month. The common pattern is: 1) I buy clippers, 2) I use them a few times, 3) I lose clippers, 4) Repeat.

Why do my clippers go missing so frequently? I have a few ideas:

1. They go into hiding. After being used on my ugly, big toe a few times, it’s possible that they simply can’t take it any more. They might change their name and join the Toenail Protection Agency. Maybe they are huddled together in the back of the same drawer, hoping to never be found. Who knows? But it’s a possibility.

2. One of my five tax deductions loses them. You think it’s unloving for me to refer to my children as tax deductions? So be it. When you have to help do as much laundry as I have to, then we can talk about it.

3. They are abducted by aliens. Why do we think only humans are abducted by aliens? Why not squirrels, or dvd players, or toenail clipper, or my wife’s chihuahuas?

4. My wife’s chihuahuas ate them. I wouldn’t put anything past those little idiots.

Regardless of the reason, I really have no idea how many toenail clippers we have somewhere in our house.

There’s also something far more important that I don’t know: why God loves me like He does.

I know what the Bible says about God’s love for me, but it still boggles my mind. I suppose it always will.

The great thing about this is that I don’t have to know exactly why He loves me in order to enjoy His love for me.

This is what I have been thinking about this Christmas season. I encourage you to join me.

What is something you lose with stunning regularity?
What’s on your mind this Christmas season?