My Mom’s Way With Words

First, a disclaimer:  My Mom is great, loving, kind, generous, and caring.

 That being said, she is also a person who, when she opens her mouth, you never know what will come out.

 One time, there was a young man that we both know that was going to have a colonoscopy.  My mom, thinking that I may not know what that is, tried to explain it to me.  “You know, that is when they put a kaleidescope up there and look around.”  I am not sure, but I think my drink came out of my nose.

 There was another time that she was telling me, my brother, and my dad about a bad hail storm that was taking place in
Texas.  She said that “they are having hail the size of baseball bats.” 

A few years ago, she bought a raffle ticket for various prizes at the company where we both work.  One of the prizes was an All-Terrain-Vehicles (an ATV).  When she told me about buying the ticket, I asked her what she would do if she won the ATV.  She said, “I guess in the living room where the other TV is.”

To these three, I’ll add a new one.  We saw my parents tonight and as they were leaving my mom has some parting words for my 4 year old son who is in Pre-K this year.  She said, “Have fun at school tomorrow.  Try not to kill anybody.”  She sure did expect more out of me when I was in school.


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