When it seemed as though I had arrived at a point of loving you tremendously; when all the signs pointed to my faith being strong…
In ways that I had previously, I failed.
In ways that infuriate me, I failed.
In ways that I should have expected, I failed.
Feeling like a fraud, like a con-man, like a hypocrite.
Disgusted and dismayed , I knew that a beating was deserved.
Finding no one to pummel me, I did it myself.
With words and with thoughts; with hatred for myself and anguish in my heart.
Until you called my name.
Until you made yourself heard.
Until you reminded me who I am.
I am Yours.
The apple of Your eye.
One whom You created for Your good pleasure.
The grace in Your voice, the love in Your eyes, the openness of Your arms drew me back to the only one I need.
You called me to repent and provided the ability to do so.
You picked me up and placed me on solid footing.
You did for me what I did not deserve, what I could not do for myself.
Now I am….
Cradled in Your arms.
Empowered by Your Spirit.
On my way Home.
Depending on You.