Your Blog Sucks

“You are similar to the Vice President:  no one really cares what you think, either.  You have a platform from which to air your thoughts, but those thoughts aren’t particularly impactful.  The few people who pay attention to what you have to say only do so out of pity.  No one has ever really been moved or helped by your words.

Blogging is for people with low self-esteem who want to feel significant, even though they really aren’t.  It’s the perfect place for you.  You’re the type of person who should have low self-esteem.  I mean, just look at that picture of your big head.  It’s a good thing that you’re overweight; if you were a normal-sized person you wouldn’t be able to hold up that ugly thing.  You would fall all the time which would mean that you would have to find a helmet your size, which would be impossible.  Heads that size belong on gorillas or ‘roided up baseball players.

And look at that hair-cut.  Why does it look like you haven’t changed your hairstyle in 30 years?  That’s right–because you haven’t.  Gomer Pyle’s was more stylish and his voice was less annoying.  Good thing your blog doesn’t have an audio feature.

You’re fat, too.  And not in a cute, pudgy sort of way.  You’re fat in a Biggest Loser sort of way.  You try to ease this truth by thinking that you can pull it off better since you are so tall.  You’re wrong.  Being fat and ugly is part of who you are–don’t try to deny it.

It seems like you fancy yourself a comedian at times.  You’re not.  Your sense of humor is silly and sophomoric at best and painfully idiotic at worst.  Add props, bright orange hair, and ridiculously big arms and you would be Carrot Top.  Being funny is not your strong suit.  In fact, you don’t have a strong suit.  You are exceptional at being unexceptional.

The way you write makes you appear holier-than-thou.  I know the truth about you, though.  If I made a list of all of your bad deeds, words, and thoughts the list would take up so much paper that Al Gore would make a butt-kicking house call.  When it comes to be a follower of Jesus, you are an abject failure.  The idea of you giving life-advice is laughable.  It’s like Kim Jong-il giving advice on making friends or Jabba the Hut with an exercise dvd.  If being a loser was an Olympic sport, you would be Michael Phelps and Carl Lewis combined. 

Don’t get me started on the typos and grammatical errors.  Lay off of the commas, you moron.  And where did you learn how to use semicolons, Bad Punctuation Usage University (BPUU)?  I’ve seen better writing from kindergarten classes in Alabama.  ALABAMA! 

I would call you pathetic if I wasn’t afraid it’s association with you would sully the word. 

You are a joke. 

Your blog is a joke. 

You may as well quit. 


I think that it’s sometimes healthy to openly air out the negative things that you think about yourself so that you can get it out of your system and continue on with doing what you feel compelled to do.  That’s what I have just accomplished. 

My writing may not the best, but I do feel compelled to do it.  Call it a “leading” if you like.  Whatever you call it, writing is something that I enjoy.  I hope that some are moved by it.  I hope that some are challenged by it. 

And I hope that whatever it is you enjoy doing that you will not allow negative thoughts to derail your dreams, either.  Keep going, keep fighting the urge to quit, keep doing what you are compelled to do.

You may be inspiring more people than you realize. 

Do you think negative thoughts?  What ways have you used to successfully overcome them?


12 thoughts on “Your Blog Sucks

  1. Well Matt…your blogs must not be too boring…it got the joker above to read them & post his sad attempt at making himself feel powerful in a pitiful kind of way. I have always found that people that get pleasure in trying to hurt others are missing something in their own life and are only really happy or able to feel better by making others around them feel bad. So, I say to the person that wrote the posting on your blog….”sorry you are so unhappy and feel so unloved that you find it necessary to make verbal stabs at another person in order to build yourself up with some sort of misplaced, judgemental, verbal abuse of others.” You are a good man Matt and love your family and your God. I enjoy your funny stories…so keep on blogging 🙂

    • Thanks Donna. I don’t see the comment that you referenced. Whoever it was, they must have deleted it. Maybe they didn’t understand that I was talking about my self and my own blog. I don’t know. Anyway–thanks so much and I will “keep on keeping on.”

  2. Great post. It’s incredibly easy for me to sink into the “why do you even bother?” kind of mindset about almost any creative endeavor. To combat it, I try to surround myself with encouraging folks. They help keep me sane and help me to continue to do what I like. Because as easy as it is for me to say that I’d do it no matter the feedback, positive feedback definitely helps me keep going!

  3. Ah, negative thoughts. I hate those buggers. Can’t say I have a sure fire cure for overcoming them…I struggle with it a lot. I loved your post, though…very real.

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