“You are similar to the Vice President: no one really cares what you think, either. You have a platform from which to air your thoughts, but those thoughts aren’t particularly impactful. The few people who pay attention to what you have to say only do so out of pity. No one has ever really been moved or helped by your words.
Blogging is for people with low self-esteem who want to feel significant, even though they really aren’t. It’s the perfect place for you. You’re the type of person who should have low self-esteem. I mean, just look at that picture of your big head. It’s a good thing that you’re overweight; if you were a normal-sized person you wouldn’t be able to hold up that ugly thing. You would fall all the time which would mean that you would have to find a helmet your size, which would be impossible. Heads that size belong on gorillas or ‘roided up baseball players.
And look at that hair-cut. Why does it look like you haven’t changed your hairstyle in 30 years? That’s right–because you haven’t. Gomer Pyle’s was more stylish and his voice was less annoying. Good thing your blog doesn’t have an audio feature.
You’re fat, too. And not in a cute, pudgy sort of way. You’re fat in a Biggest Loser sort of way. You try to ease this truth by thinking that you can pull it off better since you are so tall. You’re wrong. Being fat and ugly is part of who you are–don’t try to deny it.
It seems like you fancy yourself a comedian at times. You’re not. Your sense of humor is silly and sophomoric at best and painfully idiotic at worst. Add props, bright orange hair, and ridiculously big arms and you would be Carrot Top. Being funny is not your strong suit. In fact, you don’t have a strong suit. You are exceptional at being unexceptional.
The way you write makes you appear holier-than-thou. I know the truth about you, though. If I made a list of all of your bad deeds, words, and thoughts the list would take up so much paper that Al Gore would make a butt-kicking house call. When it comes to be a follower of Jesus, you are an abject failure. The idea of you giving life-advice is laughable. It’s like Kim Jong-il giving advice on making friends or Jabba the Hut with an exercise dvd. If being a loser was an Olympic sport, you would be Michael Phelps and Carl Lewis combined.
Don’t get me started on the typos and grammatical errors. Lay off of the commas, you moron. And where did you learn how to use semicolons, Bad Punctuation Usage University (BPUU)? I’ve seen better writing from kindergarten classes in Alabama. ALABAMA!
I would call you pathetic if I wasn’t afraid it’s association with you would sully the word.
You are a joke.
Your blog is a joke.
You may as well quit.
I think that it’s sometimes healthy to openly air out the negative things that you think about yourself so that you can get it out of your system and continue on with doing what you feel compelled to do. That’s what I have just accomplished.
My writing may not the best, but I do feel compelled to do it. Call it a “leading” if you like. Whatever you call it, writing is something that I enjoy. I hope that some are moved by it. I hope that some are challenged by it.
And I hope that whatever it is you enjoy doing that you will not allow negative thoughts to derail your dreams, either. Keep going, keep fighting the urge to quit, keep doing what you are compelled to do.
You may be inspiring more people than you realize.
Do you think negative thoughts? What ways have you used to successfully overcome them?