Dora the Explorer seems like a nice young lady; she is respectful of her elders and cares deeply about her friends. There have even been a few times that she has shown kindness to her arch nemesis, Swiper, even though that little punk continues to try to steal from her every chance he gets.
You think that I shouldn’t talk about Swiper that way? He uses a mask and a pseudonym to strike fear in the hearts of Dora, Boots, and the children who follow their every move because he doesn’t have any friends and still lives with his parents. His real name is Clarence Higginbotham III, he’s 37 years old, is a charter member of the Fur Club for Foxes, and he gets his kicks try to steal stuff from little girls and monkeys. He really is a punk.
But Dora seems to handle Swiper’s antics (and everything else that comes her way) with a type of grace that belies her tender age. She is an amazing, bilingual dynamo with a diverse group of friends and talents. Which is great and all, but I still don’t want to use a band-aid with her picture on it.
This has happened to you before, right? You give yourself a nasty little cut, go to the medicine cabinet (or underwear drawer, or underneath your mattress, or wherever else you keep your important items), grab the box of Band-aids, and then realize that the only ones you have feature a cartoon character with big eyes and a bright smile. And you also realize that you are going to have to meet a new client, or go to a funeral, or possibly get abducted by aliens while wearing a band-aid featuring either Ballerina Barbie or Thomas the Train or the kingpin of Sesame Street–Elmo.
This just doesn’t seem fair or right to me. Why should kids get to have all of the fun? Why aren’t there adult character Band-aids? There definitely should be. Who would some of the Band-aids feature? Here are a few of my suggestions:
1. John Piper band-aids for cuts that you knew were going to happen. Your wound is more glorified in you when it is most covered by him. Or something like that.
2. Glenn Beck band-aids for cuts that make you cry for no real reason. It doesn’t really hurt *sniffle sniffle*, but I love America.
3. Joan Rivers band-aids for aggravating wounds that have been around for a looooong time.
4. Zach Galifianakis band-aids for oddly funny cuts beneath a thick, infrequently groomed beard.
5. Matthew McConaughey band-aids for cuts featured on shirtless torsos. Alright, alright, alriiiiiight.
I have to admit that these probably won’t catch on. First, they’re just not that good. Second, the types of wounds that we should really be focusing on are of the type that are impossible to heal by using mere band-aids.
Broken hearts aren’t healed by band-aids. The wounds of divorce require more than something that can be bought at a store. Deep cuts to the soul caused by hurtful words and hateful actions won’t heal themselves just by being covered up.
These issues do not require something more.
They require someone more.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities:
the chastisement of our peace was upon him;
and with his stripes we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5
Jesus is the one who can take our brokenness and heal us completely. He is the one who can bind up our wounds with his love and make something beautiful out of our mess. With his arms open wide, he beckons us to come and find rest for our souls.
There are some things that band-aids can’t do, no matter whose picture is on them. The things that are impossible with adhesives bandages are possible with God.
If your broken heart needs mending, go to Jesus. He is waiting.
(What other adult character bandages would be awesome to have? What needs to be healed in your life in or the life of someone you love? Share away!)
That. list. was. awesome. I’m dying over here…. lol.
I need the reminder every now and again that Jesus welcomes brokenness, and He is the only one who can completely heal that…
He takes us–messy as we are–and loves us. It’s amazing.
Thank you for reminding me that GOD takes us even if we are messy and need big band aids. My heart is so broken, I realized GOD is the only one that can fix it.
He is able to deliver us no matter how hurt we are or how far we’ve fallen. Thank you for sharing.
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Charley Sheen bandaids, for when your head explodes from being too bi-winning.
Also good for self-inflicted wounds.
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You referenced McConaughey on Dustin’s blog yesterday. #bromance
Steven Segal for offending people with his acting abilities.
Yes–yes I did. And I am not ashamed. Much.
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I loved that list! You might have a great money maker on your hands there…lol.
You could be my first investor 🙂
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Will you accept a mountain of Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches as an investment? I’m a little short on the fundage right now 🙂
Yes–PB&J is currency in my household.
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SCORE!
The James Cameron band-aid:
It looks very cool and interesting and you pay 10x as much for it as any other band-aid, but on closer examination, you find that it’s already been used.
There’s one hurt from a church that goes very, very deep. I expect there will be an ache there always (nerd alert) kind of like when Frodo gets stabbed by the Wraith’s blade, but more and more of that poison is being drawn out all the time. And that’s a very good thing.
Thanks for the nerd alert and for sharing. Those hurts go deep-God’s grace goes deeper still. Thankful that the poison is being drawn out.
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As a Mom of 3 boys, this has happened to me one too many times. Woody, Buzz, Spiderman, they just don’t seem to have the same healing super powers as Jesus does! Also makes me think of how my boys will get picky with the choices…No, not Buzz! I want a Woody one!
Don’t we do that too? No, not you Jesus, I’ll take my whiskey, chocolate, movies, new car, etc, etc…instead for healing!
We accept temporary band-aids instead of Jesus–the One who can truly heal us. True words.
I want (need) some Chuck Norris Bandaids. Man, I would cut myself on purpose just to sport those out. Watch out, here comes Moe!
I’m glad Jesus is able to heal the broken heart. He actually performs surgery too. He removes stone hearts and giveth (KJV words give more credibility) hearts of flesh. So awesome!
Watch out, here comes Moe! is what people normally say, right? Especially when you go KJV on them.
No doubt.
That’s great. I will be thinking of other adult bandaids for days now. But I REALLY love the description of Swiper. Hilarious!
Swiper deserves to be taken down.
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HAHA! This is awesome! I can’t pick a favorite, but #2 made me chuckle.
I have no excuse for not visiting sooner except that I had failed to add your URL to Google Reader (a careless omission that has been rectified). Expect to see me regularly.
Also for actual grown-up bandaids checkout Perpetual Kid
Awesome man–thanks for stopping by. And for the link.
Matt, thanks for the deep reflections in life. I think Matthew McCoughnahey might try to patent this if he were to see this blog post. Shoot, he might even see the scripture at the end and think, “Whoa, he just compared me to Jesus! Right on!” 🙂
NOT…that you just compared Matthew McCaughnahey to Jesus. 🙂 I’m just saying..
Yes–you’re probably right. And if he played Jesus in a movie…aw, nevermind. That’s too much.
I always thought it’d be cool to have a bandaid with a realistic image of a larger wound on it, all gangrene and stuff.
As an adult, I’ll sport a transformer bandaid all day any day.
Great idea–it would probably give you a little more space in elevators.
Hilarious.
Thanks man.
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Love this! Came over from Jeff Goins’ blog. I think you’re onto something here. 🙂
There is some $ to be made, I think. Thanks for stopping by!