We probably disagree on plenty of topics.
You may think that the new, strange-looking woman on American Idol is acting more like a fan than a judge; I think that Steven Tyler is doing a fine job. You may believe that hummus is a perfectly acceptable food to put in your mouth and eat; I refuse to eat it primarily because it is called hummus. You may think that Lost was overrated; I think that you are wrong and need to repent.
There is at least one thing that I believe we can all agree on. No, I’m not talking about the fact that all newborn babies look like Winston Churchill. I’m talking about how we can all agree that the price of gas is equal parts ridiculous and painful. I’m not saying that I have ever wept openly while pumping gas, but I’m not saying that I have refrained from doing so, either.
While I admit that I am not a scientist and that I am not particularly intelligent and that I was once emotionally invested in The Bachelorette (the one that featured Trista and Ryan), I am a ponderer. Here’s a question that I have recently pondered: What are some things that we have a large supply of that could possibly be converted into alternative fuel? Here are a few of my answers:
1. McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish sandwiches. In an inexplicable display of fast food madness, McDonald’s now has Double Filet-O-Fish sandwiches. I can only think of one reason why they would put this on their menu–they have an excessive amount of fish filets that they are trying to get rid of by creating a felt need for a double dose of mouth nasty. I don’t think that too many people would get upset if we took the excess sandwiches and converted them into a less smelly type of gas than they normally cause.
2. Silly Bandz. For the past year my kids have traded Silly Bandz with negotiating skills that would put high-powered sports agents to shame. One of my boys started wearing Osh-Kosh sized Armani suits and drinking 17 energy drinks a day. And when I told him that I needed to talk to him about his behavior he told me to have my people call his people. I don’t have to worry about this type of behavior now. The Silly Bandz craze has started to fade. If we could convert all of them that were sold into gas, we would have enough to fuel every car that will ever be made throughout the remainder of time.
3. Teeth. When I was a kid and lost a toot the Tooth Fairy would bring me a candy bar. Yes, that’s right–a candy bar. Presumably to ensure job security. What do my kids get when they lose a tooth? Money. They get $10 for the first tooth and $5 for each additional tooth. It was my wife’s idea and it would be fine if we only had a couple of kids. But we have 5 kids. Before it’s all over, the Tooth Fairy may have to start taking video games to pawn along with the teeth that she picks up. Anyway, if we could get our hands on all of the teeth that are being stored in plastic bags in the sock drawers of parents with gullible children and turn it into fuel, we would be set.
Maybe you have different ideas on what to do about the exorbitant gas prices. Maybe you think my ideas are silly. But I bet you agree with me that the prices are painfully high.
I hope we agree on a few other things, too.
I hope we agree that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.
I hope we agree that we are all sinners in need of a Savior.
I hope we agree that those of us who have obtained mercy should be merciful toward others.
I hope we agree that those of us who are followers of Jesus should be in the process of becoming more and more like Him.
For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son,
that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
I know that we disagree on plenty of topics, but I have grown weary recently of focusing on what separates us. I wonder if there can be somewhat widespread agreement on what unites us.
Besides the ridiculous gas prices and the nastiness of Filet-O-Fish sandwiches.
(What other items should we try to turn into alternative fuel? What can we agree about? What is worth dividing over? Share away!)