Profiled by Girl Scout Cookies

“I hate Girl Scout Cookies.”  This is what I yelled at the Girl Scouts who were posted outside of Wal-mart a couple of weeks ago when they asked us if we wanted to buy any cookies.  I did it mostly to be funny (I made sure that they knew that I was only kidding), but I also did it to dissuade them from laying “it” on too thick.  And by “it” I mean their ability to make their eyes appear 67% rounder and 97% more hopeful of making a sale than normal.  We had already purchased at least 15 boxes from various people.  My waist-line did not need any more.

It’s not that I dislike Girl Scout Cookies.  I do like them.  A lot.  But not for the reason that you might think.  The real reason that I like Girl Scout Cookies is that they provide an excellent way to profile people.  If I can find out what a person’s favorite Girl Scout Cookies are, I can learn more about them than their Facebook profile even reveals.  But maybe you don’t know what your favorite Girl Scout Cookies are saying about you.  To correct this I have decided to share my research with you featuring the top five best-selling types of Girl Scout Cookies and what they say about those who pick them as their favorite.

WARNING: The research that these conclusions are built upon is based entirely on observations.

Thin Mints: You are the owner of a mini-van, a time-share, or a poodle.  You are a fan of soap operas and possibly professional wrestling.  You have been concerned about your weight most of your life, thus the word “thin” resonates deep within your subconscious mind.  You are a smoker (or an ex-smoker), probably of Virginia Slims.  You buy 30 boxes of them every year and put most of them in the freezer.  You plan on eating a couple of cookies a day, but all of the boxes are empty within a week.  But you aren’t worried because the are THIN mints. 

Samoas: You are a woman.

Tagalongs: You are a man who likes football, baseball, and basketball and when SportsCenter shows hockey highlights you change the channel to something more interesting, like static or Dr. Phil.  You drool a little when you see a box of Tagalongs, but not as much as when you sleep because that would just be too weird.  Your favorite color is plaid and your favorite fabric is flannel, however you would never tell anyone this because manly men don’t discuss fabric. 

Do-si-dos: You ate a lot of sandwiches as a child, especially peanut butter sandwiches.  Your favorite part of Vacation Bible School was snack-time when you got to eat cookies and drink weak Kool-Aid.  You miss the care-free days of your youth and the freedom that came along with Summer vacation.  You don’t mind that the name of your favorite Girl Scout Cookie sounds like a barn dance move.

Trefoils:  You have the taste buds of a 3-year-old.

Were these descriptions accurate? Probably not. Does what your favorite Girl Scout Cookies say about you matter? Absolutely not.

What really matters is what Jesus says about you.  And He is quite fond of you.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13

If you have entered into a relationship with Jesus, you are His friend.  If not, He desires to be your friend and made a way for this to happen. 

Your favorite Girl Scout Cookies might reveal a few things about you. 

 The love Jesus has for you reveals far more. 

(What are your favorite Girl Scout Cookies?  Are some of the descriptions accurate?  When did your relationship with Jesus begin?  Share away!)

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53 thoughts on “Profiled by Girl Scout Cookies

  1. Definitely Tagalongs for me, although I don’t wear plaid or flannel. And I distinctly remember the toddlers in my mom’s daycare years back eating cookies very similar to those Trefoils. Yet my wife loves them. Guess because they are simple and there is no chocolate or peanut butter. Which is why I hate them.

  2. I love the Thin Mints, and I do own a poodle… well at least a half poodle mix. The rest is wrong though. I’ve never smoked and can’t stand soap operas or wrestling. And if I bought 30 boxes of cookies – of any kind mind you – they wouldn’t mike it into the freezer. They wouldn’t have time! My husband would devour them first. He’s currently in cookie rehab.

  3. I’m a Thin Mint gal myself and I DO drive (and love) a mini-van, but I mostly like Thin Mints because they are the best value for your Girl Scout Cookie dollar. If I have a “3 cookies after you finish your supper” rule for the children, a box of Thin Mints goes way further than any other cookie. So mostly what you can learn from me is that I’m cheap.

  4. it’s Thin Mints for me – no minivan, no poodle, not anything like your description, but I love to dunk them in milk after nibbling the end, so the inside gets soggy and the outside stays crisp – THAT is scientific.

  5. Tagalongs. Wow, Plaid makes another appearance in my life. You are like John the baptist, but instead of Locust and honey, you rock Girl Scout Cookies. Awesome!

  6. I’m worried now that I don’t remember which one a tagalong is. I like the do-si-do’s (but I mostly just like peanut butter). I’ll eat Samoas if that’s all that’s left. Good takeaway too, Matt! 🙂

  7. I loooooove Samoas, which now have to the ridiculous name of Caramel Delites. Probably has something to do with not being racist to Samoans, but IDK.

    I would never eat the do-si-dos because I just think that is an even more ridiculous name than caramel delites. LOL And, I’m deathly allergic to peanuts so I can’t eat the Tagalongs. 😦

  8. I used to own a mini van, tried smoking a couple of times and was a bit disapointed in the experiences (but my maiden name is Smoker), would love to be a pro-wrestler, and could probably eat a box a day … yeah, you’re not far off your mark with the Thin Mints. Very weird. You should consider joining the FBI.

    Met Jesus as a little girl. Before I had my first Girl Scout Cookie. I think.

  9. thin mints… i do own a mini van. No poodles. I didn’t struggle with weight until I had kids. I don’t like soaps or wrestling. No way on the smoking bit. But yes, I do eat them all in like one week. LOL

  10. You are spot on. I love somoas. Wait, you said that I am a women. Um…I mean I like the ones that make me a lumber jack with the flannel and all.

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