Prophetic Thursday: Christian Reality Shows

Welcome to Prophetic Thursday here at the blog.  Every Thursday I will peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see the previous post in this series, click HERE

Christian Reality Shows

Remember Mr. Personality, the reality show hosted by Monica Lewinsky in 2003; the one where she advised young women picking men to date who had their faces covered by masks of various colors.  Some don’t remember it because they never viewed it.  Many more are unable to remember it because some memories must be repressed in order for people to have normal functioning lives.  To call it a train wreck is unfair to train wrecks.  As people who impersonate Charles Barkley would say–“It was turrible–turrible, turrible, turrible!”

After this show started strong and quickly lost viewers with each passing week, I thought that reality shows were over.  I thought they had collectively “jumped the shark.”  I thought wrong.  This is not rare–remember, I’m the guy who ate leftover Krsytal hamburgers for breakfast and lived to talk about it.  Still, though, I was sure that reality shows would not last, but it seems that they are here to stay.

And the longer they stay around the greater the likelihood that there will eventually be “Christian” reality shows.  Yes–it will happen.  Here are a few that I expect to see in the near future:

1.  Hangin’ with Smiley.  Join Joel Osteen (and his business mullet) as he spends his days doing whatever it is Joel Osteen does.  Like trying out his stories on unsuspecting toddlers.  Or whitening his teeth 18 hours a day.  Or learning how to hypnotize people by blinking his eyes.

2.  Survivor: Finance Committee.  Ratings gold.

3.  The Real Pastor’s Wives of the SBC.  Some are shy and sweet.  Some are smart and sassy.  Watch what happens when they stop being polite and start being real.  Wait a minute–that’s some other show, isn’t it?

4.  The Amazing Grace.  Similar to The Amazing Race, except that the teams race around the world finding different ways to help each other.  And whichever team comes in last will be first.  Expect loooong seasons.

5.  America’s Next Top Worship Leader.  Graphic tees, skinny jeans, goop-filled hair, and the ability to turn secular songs into songs of praise will be featured on this show that will be judged by Kirk Franklin, Bill Gaither, and Sharon Osbourne (just for funsies).

6.  Pimp My Church Van.  Forget church vans with torn seats and peeling paint, these church vans will be tricked out with 20 inch rims, cross spinners, a bangin’ sound system, and a bar in the back (serving only communion juice, of course). 

7.  The Rob Bell Show.  Already in production.  Probably.

Will reality shows really go the Christian route?  Why not?  We already have Christian movies, books, magazines, music, candy, Silly Bandz, clothing, paintings, Christmas tree ornaments, restaurants, theme parks, schools, day cares, retreats, cruises, snow globes, video games, actions figures, trading cards, blogs, internet providers, newspapers, political action committees, and so much more.

So, yeah–Christian reality shows are definitely a possibility.  And when it happens remember that you heard it here first.

(What are some other possible Christian reality shows?  Why are reality shows so popular?  Share away!)

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62 thoughts on “Prophetic Thursday: Christian Reality Shows

  1. I saw a Kirk Franklin reality show that was the Christian version of American Idol. You post was funny and real. These shows are here.

  2. Preacher vs. Wild

    Our host TD Jakes takes us through some survival tactics in the wild. Just in case we ever parachute into a place like the Saharan Desert.

  3. Is there seriously a Christian internet service provider? I hadn’t heard of that one… A couple of my favorites (and by “favorites” I mean “not favorites at all”) are seekfind.org, the Christian search engine, and Christian Chirp, the Christian version of Twitter.

    I would totally watch America’s Next Top Worship Leader, though…

  4. I’m sure there could be a couple seasons worth of Keeping Up With The Driscolls.

    Or…. Dancing With The Christian Bloggers… that would be fun.

  5. This post is epic. But if I may throw in a #JesusJuke, it makes me sad that you’re probably right. We try so hard to mimic pop culture rather than actually use the creativity God has given us. If frustrates me that we look like a bunch of less-than-stellar copy cats all the time.

  6. “The Amazing Grace. Similar to The Amazing Race, except that the teams race around the world finding different ways to help each other. And whichever team comes in last will be first. Expect loooong seasons.”

    You’re assuming we could find enough teams to compete that truly would want to be last.

  7. Is The Duggar’s show considered a Christian reality show?

    Oprah had one season a show a few years ago where people had to race around helping other people. I actually thought it was pretty good (though I’d hate to praise Oprah too much). It tanked.

  8. I think reality shows are popular because they always throw some “story” behind real boring and normal lives. They add some background music, or some tears and even some fights and issues that people just love.

    Other possible Christian Reality shows? How about “the apprentice” so we can give layman the chance to live the life of church leadership. I expect some spiritual diarrhea as a result of that reality show.

  9. How could you forget the Christian versions of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette?!

    Contestants compete for the love of the Christian Bachelor/Bachelorette but are not allowed to spend any time alone with them, can’t touch each other and must stay fully clothed from head to foot the whole time. And they give out crosses instead of roses.

  10. How about a real world type….except at Christian youth camp…….cause someone always brings a heathen friend who smokes!

  11. Can’t believe nobody mentioned… wait for it:

    The Missionary Dating Game

    Where Christian singles compete for the right to woo, and win to Christ, the heathen of their choice. Fun would had by all, but producers not responsible for any moral compromises that may occur.

  12. Hahaha! I’m a little late on this, but this was sooo funny. And some of these ideas I really liked! But then, I’m a big fan of reality TV.

    Keep ’em comin’!

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