Having a movie made about your life seems like it would be a pretty cool thing. I used the words “seems like” on purpose; it wouldn’t necessarily be a cool thing. Like if the movie was The Strangers. Or The Exorcist. Or Herbie: Fully Loaded.
I have heard many people proclaim who they would like to play them in a movie. That is all well and good, but they are forgetting something very important: In a movie about a person’s whole life there will need to be different actors playing a particular person at various ages. It is possible that you haven’t thought much about this. If not, you should. You never know when you will get your arm pinned between two boulders and have to cut it off in order to survive. Or when you will end up as a soldier in Vietnam after playing football at the University in Alabama followed by a stint as a shrimpin’ boat captain. Or when you will develop a social networking site along with a few of your friends and then get involved in a controversy over who should get the credit.
Maybe you’re not ready with a list of who could play you at various ages. But I am.
Me as a baby: Any fat baby with black hair. It doesn’t have to be a boy; it just has to be fat. The nurses at the hospital called me Tubbs. Seriously.
Me as a young boy: Danny Devito. I was built just like him when I was six-years-old. Yes, I know that he is over 60 and bald. But if you put a toupee on him and let a make-up artist do her magic, he could pull it off.
Me as a teenager: Dakota Fanning. Why? Because she is the best young actor/actress out there. You know she’s a girl, right? Listen, if they can make all those actors who played the Na’vi in Avatar look blue and 10 feet tall, surely they can make Fanning look like an overweight teenage boy.
Me as an adult: Vince Vaughn. He is only a couple of inches shorter than me and about 79-times funnier, so it should work. Plus, he has gotten a little bit of a gut on him. Really, though, I would settle for anyone other than Nicolas Cage. He’s in way too many movies as it is.
Me as an old man: Christopher Walken. I have no idea if I will look like him or act like him when I am his age, but I sure hope so. “I need more cow bell.” And a new hip.
So there is my list. I think that it’s a pretty good one. Honestly, though, I think it would be strange to see anyone else play the part of me. Because I am me–the only me that will ever be.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made
Psalm 139:14
I may not think very highly of myself and you may not, either. But we have been made by God with purpose and with care.
Let’s praise Him for this and seek to be continually transformed more into the image of Christ.
And just in case something happens to me and the story of my life has to be made posthumously, save this list. It might be needed.
(Which actors/actresses would you choose to play you at various ages? How is your transformation process going? Share away!)
For me right now I would say Keanu Reeves. Wanna b surfer lingo
Gnarly.
I want to say all the tough guys, from the Duke to Arnold but all I probably get would be PeeWe Herman….sniff.
Thankfully God thinks higher of me…..thanks Matt!
C’mon–you’re not that big of a dweeb. Are you?
🙂
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Nah, I’m a ninja!
I hope that Kathy Bates plays me as as older woman. Or as me now. Either way. I just love Kathy Bates partly because she was the perfect Annie Wilkes and partly because I think we would totally be BFFs. She seems a LOT like me.
And I’m learning more and more to accept the parts of me that are good and (I hope) change the parts that are not so good. Self-love is an easy way to not change, but so is self-loathing. I think I’m striking a better balance at that so I can see what needs to change a bit more clearly.
I can totally see Kathy Bates playing you. 🙂
I discovered a few years ago that we can not love our neighbors as ourselves if we don’t love ourselves. Not in an overboard, narcissistic way, but in a content kind of way.
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To really capture me at my finest (read: most awkward), I would say Martin Starr from Freaks and Geeks. Seems the most accurate.
He’s awfully mouse-y. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
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Will Smith. Oh wait you say I am an average height, overweight, white man. Ok I’ll take Kevin James.
You could do worse than James. I’m not sure exactly how, though.
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They could use the same black-haired fat baby to play me as you, because I looked just like that!
As an adult, not that I want this, but I’ve been told we look similar (still not sure that’s a good thing) Sarah Jessica Parker
As an old woman – Raquel Welch. I can dream, right?
Twins at birth. Now? Not so much.
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I would like to say that Bradley Cooper could pull off an impression of me in Bryan Thompson: The Movie…but it would likely be Kevin James..
2 people with Kevin James mentions. I guess he is the current go-to guy for us pudgy caucasians.
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I always thought Edward James Olmos would play me well as an old man.
I hope you’re not that intense when you are old, though. Heart attack waiting to happen.
Me as a kid: Gizmo from Gremlins
Me as an adult: Gizmo from Gremlins
Me when I’m older: Gizmo from Gremlins.
Interesting—your picture doesn’t make your look very furry.
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Josh Radnor – aka, the guy who plays Ted Mosbey on How I Met Your Mother. My friends think I’m a lot like him, or at least the character he plays.
Plus he has epic hair.
Yes–he does have “nice” hair.
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Bieber, Timberlake, and the Gecko. with appropriate tans, of course.
Bieber? Do you avoid showing your hands in pictures, too?
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Got a good laugh out of me today Matt. Loved it.
Who would play me…Not many 6′-3 270 white guy actors 🙂
I hope to daily look for ways that the Lord can transform me into a better follower. Wherever He leads I will follow.
Awesome!
You could have said Kevin James like a couple others have 🙂
Wherever He leads, I’ll follow is a good motto for all of us.
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Me as a child – Gary Coleman (I can dream)
Me as an adult – Little Junior Brown (as portrayed by Nicholas Cage in Kiss of Death – again, I’m dreaming)
Me as an old man – Betty White ( ’nuff said)
Betty White=Awesome!
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The fact that you want Walken to portray you as an older dude. +1 Matt. Well done!
As a kid: YaYa from Sandlot
As an adult: Brad Pitt (b/c my wife thinks he was hott in Troy)
As an older dude: Michael Caine – just cuz the accent.
Nice—Tom Hanks did a good impersonation of Michael Caine on SNL this past weekend.
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I can’t think of many average bald white actors–maybe that guy who played Lex Luthor on Smallville would shave his head again for the part. Anyway, I don’t know who would play me, but you made me laugh (which is always appreciated). Thanks Matt.
Thanks, man.
As for who to play you—how about Stone Cold Steve Austin?
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Hmm… Somebody once said that I look kinda like the guy who played Nic Cage’s brother in Face/Off. But who knows who Alessandro Nivola is? (Besudes, he’s thinner & better looking than me). So I guess I’ll go with Bill Murray. 😉
That would be SWEET!
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Any little baby with a HUGE head and lots of hair could fit the role of mini-ben up until grade school, to which I think Ernie Reyes Jr. could play me up through High School.
Then Dwayne Johnson as an adult, some people say I am built like him.
#notheydont
“Know your role!”—The Rock
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