During the Federal Budget brouhaha last week, Republican Senator Jon Kyl made a hugely false statement concerning Planned Parenthood. While I do not agree with that group’s views on abortion, I also do not agree with their opponents making up statistics in order to oppose them. This alone caused the senator to come under scrutiny. This scrutiny intensified when a reporter contacted Senator’s Kyl’s office to ask about the statement and was told that it “was not intended to be a factual statement…”
And that, ladies in gentlemen, is the best excuse EVER! And it is also a statement that I intend to use soon. Like right now.
So, in honor of my two-year-old’s newest infatuation, here are a 10 statements about the Muppets that are not intended to be factual.
1. Miss Piggy’s friends think that she only eats turkey bacon. They are mistaken.
2. Fozzie Bear really is as kind and jovial as he seems…until he starts drinking.
3. Kermit’s favorite t-shirt says, “I lied–it is easy being green. Suckers!”
4. Yes, Rowlf’s voice is super cool, but the five-pack-a-day habit that caused it isn’t.
5. Animal is a meth addict.
6. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew is his supplier.
7. Nose jealousy caused Gonzo to coerce Jennifer Grey into undergoing rhinoplasty by promising to go through with it if she went first.
8. Scooter steals cable.
9. Contrary to his mild-mannered persona, the character of Jason Bourne was modeled after Beaker.
10. The Swedish Chef isn’t really Swedish; his name is Clarence and he’s from New Jersey.
I hope I didn’t offend anyone, after all I already said that these statements aren’t intended to be factual.
Most people would call them lies.
No matter what they are called, when applied to you they hurt.
A false witness will not go unpunished,
And he who speaks lies will not escape.
Lies damage people. Lies damage organization. Lies damage the credibility of the liar and those he/she represents.
Lies have hurt you.
Jesus says that He is the Truth; those that follow Him should love the truth and reject all lies.
Even when they are called statements that are not intended to be factual.
(What other statements that are not intended to be factual could be made about the Muppets? How have lies damaged you? Share away!)