Prophetic Thursday: Wrestling Preachers

Welcome to Prophetic Thursday here at the blog.  Every Thursday I will peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see the last 2 posts in this series click Here and Here.

Wrestling Preachers

I remember the first time that I saw MC Hammer preaching.  It was amazing and I was mesmerized.  And it made perfect sense.  He had an ability to get people to pay attention during his music career and now he was using this same ability to get people to pay attention to a different message.  I’m not saying that he was a great preacher or that he had great theology; I am saying that he made people notice what he was saying.

There are other people who are good at making others pay attention: professional  wrestlers.  And it’s only a matter of time before some of them change course and try their massive hands at preaching. 

Here a few wrestlers that we could one day see behind the pulpit and how they could make their catchphrases more faith friendly:

1.  Hulk Hogan: “Whatcha gonna do when the Holy Spirit runs wild on you!”

2.  “Macho Man” Randy Savage: “Snap into the Gospel–OH YEAAAAHHH!”

3.  “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes: “I’ve dined on pork and beans; I know the King of Kings.  I’m the American Dream–Dusty Rhodes!”

4.  Bret “The Hitman” Hart:  “Jesus is the best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be!”

5.  “Stone Cold” Steve Austin:  “And that’s the bottom line because God Almighty said so!”

6.  Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: “If you SMEEEEELLLLLLL what the Spirit is coookin’!”

7.  Ric Flair:  “WOOOOOO!”  (after every main point)

8.  “The Million Dollar Main” Ted DiBiase:  “Everyone has a price…and Jesus paid it!”

9.  The Miz:  “God is AWESOME!”

10.  John Cena: “You can’t see me….because I hope you see Jesus in me!”

Now, I fully realize that preaching is something that only God can call and equip people to do.  But I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these guys are on TV in a few years using their voices for something other than to call each other cowards in creative ways.  I just hope that they don’t wear tights while doing it.

And as always, when this happens remember that you heard it here first.

(Who else may one day be a wrestling preacher?  Are there any preachers/pastors you know who would make good wrestlers?  Share away!)

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48 thoughts on “Prophetic Thursday: Wrestling Preachers

  1. He’s not fighting anymore, as far as I know, but I can’t resist:

    Mr. T: “I pity the fool that don’t follow Jesus. That sucka’s heading straight to hell.”

    I do know he’s been involved with food distribution for Operation Blessing before. Not sure what other involvement he has with the faith. But you gotta have a “pity the fool” reference when catchphrases are involved.

  2. True story: When I was a student minister I once had a professional wrestler who was a Christian come talk to our youth. To hpye the evening we set up a ring and advertised it as a grudge match between me (Big Bubba Waddey) and Totally Trey Kellar. I had to go to wrestling school for a couple of days to learn how to take a beating. After he piledrived me, body slammed me, and tossed me out of the ring. . . he then told my students about the love of Christ.

  3. Great list!

    I’m emberrased to admit that I even know this, but there is a Christian wrestling circuit, and the Million Dollar Man is part of it. Don’t know if he’s a preacher or not, but he is an outspoken Christian.

  4. One of our deacons, who recently covered fir me when I was sick, talks fondly of “wrastlin” days. He and his brother, Boots, were local heros during the days of Tojo Yamamoto and a few others I can’t remember.

  5. I don’t know any wrestlers. But, if preachers would throw down in a ring for Jesus, go up old style like Elijah against the prophets of Baal, that would be something.

  6. See I think the tights could totally replace the stolls. Same basic idea with symbols on the tights and various colors for the church seasons. That could totally work.

  7. What about Matt “The Canonator” Cannon? I hear he’s 6’7″ of wrasslin’ fury and Gospel goodness. He piledrives with the power of the anointing. And I’d you don’t know your canon before the match, you for sure will afterwards!

    😉

  8. Sorry dude. I never watched wrestling so all I have heard is names. I was watching some UFC but finally had to stop. I got too wound up. 🙂 How about Craig “I’ll beat the life into you” Groeschel?

  9. How about the Bushwackers. They can tag-team preach and if anyone falls asleep during the sermon they can do the battering ram move. This is where one wrestler stands behind his partner and leans forward, placing his head underneath his partner’s arm, in a headlock. The two then charge forward, ramming the head of the rear wrestler into the sleeping layman.

    Oh, and I can’t believe nobody has mentioned TD Jakes. He would make a great wrestler.

  10. I like “The Canonator”, that fits you very well Bro. Matt. I have personally met & heard Dibiase,he was in our area a few years ago.They had a ring set up & had a match between himself & the youth pastor. After he won, of course, then he told his testimony of how God has worked in his life.His message really got me thinking about some things in my life.

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