Welcome to Prophetic Thursday here at the blog. Every Thursday I will peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see the last 2 posts in this series click Here and Here.
Customized Choir Robes
It seems that praise teams singing praise music accompanied by praise bands are the norm in many churches these days. instead of looking down at a hymnal to read the words to songs, people look up at a wall or a screen where the words are projected. The battle between contemporary and traditional styles of music is still going on in some churches, but where the battles have been fought and won there is usually one main casualty–
I have a feeling, though, that this is going to change. Those who love choirs will not take their demise lying down. They will do everything in their power to make being in a choir cool again. If they can make it cool, then people will want to be in them. And if people want to be in them, churches will have no choice but to “choirboy up,” so to speak. But how can choirs become cool? What could possibly entice people to want to be a part of choirs again?
Answer: choir robes. But not just any choir robes.
Customized choir robes.
Choir robes that people will clamor to wear.
Here are a few suggestions for luring people back to the choir:
1. Coach Choir Robes. All women everywhere love anything bearing the understated Coach logo–purses, wallets, waffle irons. It doesn’t matter what the product is, women will love it if the “C” on it looks just right. Sorry if this is stereotypical; my sampling size is kind of small.
2. Members Only Choir Robes. The only downside to these would be the mullets, tight-rolled jeans, and mall-hair that would accompany them.
3. Bacon Choir Robes. I’m thinking robes that smell like bacon, not robes made out of bacon. Unless you have a church full of Lady Gaga impersonators. If that is the case, you may have bigger issues to deal with than trying to get people into a choir. Like where to put all of the giant eggs that they show up in.
4. Camouflage Choir Robes. For those who would like to go directly from the choir loft to a tree stand.
5. College Logo Choir Robes. College football is big business for one main reason–people will buy anything as long as the logo of their favorite team is attached. Fans would jump at the chance to wear a robe in a church service with their team’s logo splashed all over it. WARNING–This may not be such a good idea if there are any Furman University fans in the choir.
6. Ed Hardy Choir Robes. Because there simply isn’t enough Ed Hardy crap already.
Would customized choir robes be enough to entice people back to choirs? Probably. Of course, I could be wrong. Praise teams and praise bands could be here to stay. But if customized choir robes are used, I can definitely see choirs making a comeback.
And when it happens, remember that you heard it here first.
(What other types of choir robes could be used to get people back to the choir? Does your church have a choir, a praise team, or something else? Share away!)