Welcome to Prophetic Thursday here at the blog. Every Thursday I will peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see the last 2 posts in this series click Here and Here.
You don’t get to hear a lot of live preaching when you are a pastor. You also don’t get to sit on the back row or stay home from church services to clean out your gutters, but the inability to listen to preaching is far worse. I make up for this deficiency by wathcing a lot of preaching on television and via the internet.
While doing this, I have noticed that us preachers aren’t very creative when it comes to emphasizing our main points. We still make our points like this is still the 1950’s. We still pound the pulpit. We still raise our voices. We still implore the audience to “listen…listen.” We still use alliteration. We still cuss.
Okay…that last one isn’t true. But you get the picture. Our point making needs updating and I think there are a few creative pastors out there who are just off-kilter enough to do it.
In the not-too-distant future, I predict that you will see pastors making points by…..
….Yosemite Samming it up. Is there a better way to say PAY ATTENTION than by hopping up and down while discharging a couple of firearms into the air? You’re kidding, right? A pastor would probably only get away with doing this once, but it would be worth it.
….putting sunglasses on like Horatio Caine. “In spite of what happened, God kept Daniel safe throughout the night and….” **puts sunglasses on** “…I’m not lion.” YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!
….body slamming a deacon. I love deacons, but I would also love see this. No offense. And if you are a deacon–learn to take a bump.
….performing a Michael Jackson kick. He-He-Heeee!
….saying “That’s what HE said!” after every point. Somebody has to fill the void left by Michael Scott’s departure.
….using the ultimate in hand gestures: Jazz Hands. Be honest–this would be awesome.
….making it rain. In an offering plate, of course.
….doing a vault off of the pulpit. Made even better if done one-legged Kerri Strug style.
I realize that the chance of these happening are slim, but there is still a possiblity of a few pastors breaking through the monotony to try one of these.
And when they do, remember that you heard it here first. (And send me the video).
(What are some other new ways that pastors could make their points? What are some funny things you have heard your pastor say? Share away!)