A week or so ago I tweeted the following: “Juicy is a good adjective for an orange, but a bad nickname if you are running for President.” While I still believe this to be true, I need to clear something up.
Juicy is a fine nickname and there is usually a funny story associated with how a person first assumed that moniker. Parents don’t look at their children fresh from the womb and begin calling them Juicy. Something interesting had to occur for a person with a name like Billy or Sara to become “Juicy.”
So, let me be clear–there is nothing wrong with being known as Juicy. If you are one of the many Juicys who have assaulted my inbox with hateful e-mails, please accept my apology.
In spite of this apology, I still stand by my assertion that Juicy is a bad nickname for a Presidential candidate.
But there are other nicknames that fall into the same category. Like….
1. Baby Daddy. There is nothing wrong with being the father of a baby. However, if you have fathered enough babies by enough women that you have become known in your community as Baby Daddy, you are probably not ready to be the leader of the free world.
2. The Ayatollah of Abilene. Getting past the Iowa Caucuses would be nearly impossible.
3. Forty Ounce. I don’t know much about malt liquor except that it usually comes in 40 oz. bottles. And if you drink enough of that stuff to wind up with Forty Ounce as a nickname, then it is likely that being President would severely hinder your “buzz time.”
4. Buster. According to my much more “with it” acquaintances, a buster is someone who doesn’t keep it real. And if you are like me the most important question to ask when deciding who to vote for is, “Which one of the candidates keeps it real?” Someone named Buster wouldn’t stand a chance.
5. Seal Clubber. There is only one way to get a nickname like Seal Clubber and there are no ways to explain your way out of it.
6. The Lyin’ King. We know that politicians lie to us; we just don’t want it to have our noses rubbed in it. At least not until after the election.
7. ‘Ol Powder Nose. He doesn’t like cocaine, he just likes the way that it smells. Yeah…right.
You can often tell a lot about a person by their nickname. And if a Presidential candidate had any of these nicknames, I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t come close to winning any election.
But that doesn’t mean that they would be unloved by God.
For great is his love toward us,
and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever.
Praise the LORD
Our nicknames are often derived by what we have done in the past or what we are currently doing. But not matter what have done in the past, what we are doing in the present, or what we will do in the future–we are loved by the One who matters the most.
So whether you are known to some as Juicy, Buster, or even Big Ugly like me (thanks to my friend Larry), you could also be known as a person cherished by the Savior.
I know that I will never by President and that is fine with me. Because I am something better.
I am loved by the King.
And I always will be.
(What are some other bad nicknames for Presidential candidates? What is (or was) your nickname? Share away!)