Presidential Nicknames

A week or so ago I tweeted the following: “Juicy is a good adjective for an orange, but a bad nickname if you are running for President.”  While I still believe this to be true, I need to clear something up. 

Juicy is a fine nickname and there is usually a funny story associated with how a person first assumed that moniker.  Parents don’t look at their children fresh from the womb and begin calling them Juicy.  Something interesting had to occur for a person with a name like Billy or Sara to become “Juicy.”

So, let me be clear–there is nothing wrong with being known as Juicy.  If you are one of the many Juicys who have assaulted my inbox with hateful e-mails, please accept my apology.

In spite of this apology, I still stand by my assertion that Juicy is a bad nickname for a Presidential candidate.

But there are other nicknames that fall into the same category.  Like….

1.  Baby Daddy.  There is nothing wrong with being the father of a baby.  However, if you have fathered enough babies by enough women that you have become known in your community as Baby Daddy, you are probably not ready to be the leader of the free world.

2.  The Ayatollah of Abilene.  Getting past the Iowa Caucuses would be nearly impossible.

3.  Forty Ounce.  I don’t know  much about malt liquor except that it usually comes in 40 oz. bottles.  And if you drink enough of that stuff to wind up with Forty Ounce as a nickname, then it is likely that being President would severely hinder your “buzz time.”

4.  Buster.  According to my much more “with it” acquaintances, a buster is someone who doesn’t keep it real.  And if you are like me the most important question to ask when deciding who to vote for is, “Which one of the candidates keeps it real?”  Someone named Buster wouldn’t stand a chance.

5.  Seal Clubber.  There is only one way to get a nickname like Seal Clubber and there are no ways to explain your way out of it.

6.  The Lyin’ King.  We know that politicians lie to us; we just don’t want it to have our noses rubbed in it.  At least not until after the election.

7.  ‘Ol Powder Nose.   He doesn’t like cocaine, he just likes the way that it smells.  Yeah…right.

You can often tell a lot about a person by their nickname.  And if a Presidential candidate had any of these nicknames, I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t come close to winning any election.

But that doesn’t mean that they would be unloved by God.

 For great is his love toward us,
   and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever.
Praise the LORD
Psalm 117:2

Our nicknames are often derived by what we have done in the past or what we are currently doing.  But not matter what have done in the past, what we are doing in the present, or what we will do in the future–we are loved by the One who matters the most.

So whether you are known to some as Juicy, Buster, or even Big Ugly like me (thanks to my friend Larry), you could also be known as a person cherished by the Savior.

I know that I will never by President and that is fine with me.  Because I am something better.

I am loved by the King.

And I always will be.

 (What are some other bad nicknames for Presidential candidates?  What is (or was) your nickname?  Share away!)


60 thoughts on “Presidential Nicknames

  1. My dad worked on race cars (the engines, like for Marty Robbins). My initials are A.C. I was known as his little sparkplug before I was born, hence “Sparky” was what I got stuck with.

    Snuffy and Limpy would not be good names for a president. Slimy has already been used too much.

  2. I immediately thought of this Michael Scott quote. I think that would be a bad nickname for a president.

    I’ve never had a nickname that really stuck. My husband calls me Mamahead. My one best friend calls me she-me. My other best friend calls me Alisema. And of course, you call me QOATIA (which I read as kwoh-ay-sha). I think that’s about it.

  3. The Master Debater?

    Because using the term Master really polarizes people given it’s authoritarian emphasis. (I feel like there’s another joke in there I’m just missing. Oh well.)

  4. There is a guy at work who calls me Big Ears. We have a funny friendship. We like messing with each other. Plus he’s only telling the truth. I do have big ears. 🙂

    • Good to hear of people owning their big ears. So many try to hide them when they aren’t anything to be embarassed by. Attaboy, Big Ears!
      Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

  5. I have a few nicknames:

    JP – that one lasted like a day
    JDawg – my college days
    Uncle Vana – some high school kids
    Grandpa Vana – some more high school kids
    Papa J – some of my college students
    Mr. Super Awesome Amazing Stud – the nickname I gave myself. It hasn’t been catching on as well as I had hoped.

  6. Since my name is Jonathan Jacob:
    -I always get the “John Jacob jingle heimer scmidt” lol!

    is Juicy really a nickname? lol!

    • There was a Univ. of TN football player who had a dad nicknamed Juicy. The player got into trouble and Juicy called in to sports talk shows a lot. I giggled a little every time I heard him.

  7. Everyone called me Moe and it stuck, but some close friends called me MoeDog. I may or may not bite. I may or may not lick myself. I may or may not chase my tail, I may or may not pee on fire hydrants.

    Or maybe it’s because as a teen I got bit by a police dog. (long story).

  8. My nickname is actually KC. My “real” name is an enigma.
    CK2 was popular in high school.

    I’d have to say Stormin’ Norman wouldn’t be good, Pig Wrestler or Steer Chaser are bad as well.

  9. Crapface would be a pretty bad one.

    I’ve always just been “Mo” ! even when I was trying to use my full name, it always became “Mo.” now it’s Dr. Mo. Or Dr. Mofo, at work. That one wasn’t my invention, I promise.

  10. When I was pregnant with my third child, the older two kids nicknamed the impending baby “Lump.” Luckily for her, it did not stick.

    At church I am often on committees and in Bible studies where everyone else’s name begins with “J”. So I got nicknamed “Jezebel”. Which would be a bad nickname for a Pres. candidate.

  11. My sister is the only person who gets to call me Krissy.

    My exhusband still calls me Fart Sniffer because of an unfortunate dutch oven incident from years ago.

  12. I’d vote for you if you ran, and I’d call you Stone Giant, from neverending story. I don’t know why.

    My nickname from my sister: Bean.

  13. How about Hagrid? Cause you’re like the gentle giant of blogging: you make us laugh, tell us the truth (that we sometimes don’t wanna hear), and do it all with a style uniquely your own.

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