Welcome to Prophetic Thursday here at the blog. Every Thursday I will peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see the last 2 posts in this series click Here and Here.
It is clear from the Bible that God only wants us to worship with people exactly like us, right? Praising the Savior in a homogeneous environment is the ideal, right? Cowboy churches, biker churches, and skateboard churches are the types of churches that best follow the example of the early Church from the book of Acts, right?
The proliferation of specialty churches does not mean that they are any better (or worse) than regular churches, but it does mean that they probably aren’t going away. Sort of like Kathy Griffin. And if they aren’t going away, then there will no doubt be a greater variety of them in the future.
Here are ten specialty churches I expect to see in the coming years:
1. The Leadership Church. A lot of pastors recently seem to be talking more about being a better leader than about becoming more like Jesus. This type of church is as inevitable as me stepping on a toy in the middle of the night at least once a week.
2. The Hot Tub Church. Eight-seater pews replaced by eight-seater hot tubs. All in favor say aye!
3. The Church of Redundancy Church. People don’t like change and at this church nothing ever will. EVER.
4. The Oprah Church. “You go to Heaven! And you go to Heaven! And you go to Heaven! EVERYBODY GOES TO HEAVEN!”
5. The Twitter Church. Every announcement, song, and sermon point is 140 characters long. And people who don’t go there will have no idea why it is so cool and will think that people who like the church are stupid.
6. The Vegan Church. Featuring the worst pot-luck dinners imaginable.
7. The Second Amendment Church. Their motto: Love God, Love Guns, and Shoot to Kill.
8. The iChurch. When this one is planted, don’t join too quickly. The second one will be much better.
9. The ADHD Church. The only church in America for the easily distra….Wanna arm wrestle?
10. The Germaphobe Church. No handshakes, hugs, or close-talking. And Howie Mandel is an honorary Deacon.
I understand the appeal of specialty churches; it helps to break the ice with people of similar backgrounds and personalities. And whether you like it or not, it appears that they are here to stay.
Will there really ever be churches like the ones that I mentioned? Maybe–maybe not.
But when you see some of these pop up, remember that you heard it here first.
(What other specialty churches do you hope to see in the future? What is one specialty church that you hope to never see? Share away!)