Prophetic Thursday: Vacation Bible School

Welcome to Prophetic Thursday here at the blog.  Every Thursday I will peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see the last 2 posts in this series click Here and Here.

Vacation Bible School

Can you feel it? Can you sense it? Can you smell it?

It’s Vacation Bible School time! 

Ours is next week; 6:30-9:15 each night Monday-Friday if you want to come.  I’m excited about it and our church is excited about it.

Each year we use the main curriculum that Lifeway Resources provides. Each year the theme is different. Over the past few years, there has been a Great Britain theme, a Japan theme, a cowboy theme, and a road trip them. This year there is a New York City theme called “Big Apple Adventure.”

I’m wondering something, though. What happens when all of the “normal” themes have been used? What if the creativity well begins to run dry? What then?

Get even more creative. Here are four possibilities:

1.  Harold Camping’s Rapture Ruse.  The kids are told that the rapture will occur at the end of Saturday’s Family Fun Day so that each day prior to Saturday the teachers  have their  undivided attention. While they will be disappointed when the expected event doesn’t occur, they will have learned more about the Bible during that week than they have in their entire lives.

2.  A Week of Winning.  Does red Kool-Aid look like Tiger Blood? Absolutely! Could Charlie Sheen’s rants be turned into Bible lesson jumping off points? Maybe! Is  it worth a shot? Yes! But a church would need to act quickly–this ship has nearly sailed.

3.  Child vs. Wild.  This Bear Grylls inspired curriculum teaches kids how to pray with urgency by releasing a different wild animal inside the locked down church building each night. And if the survivors are promised a free pizza party I am sure that there would be plenty of kids giving it a shot. 

4.  Vacation Bible School Musical.  It’s a shame that Troy, Gabriella, Sharpay, and the rest never made it to VBS. This has to change and your church can help. It should only take about 3 years of rehearsing to get all of the choreography just right.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, but churches may never get desperate enough to use any of these suggestions.

But they might.

And when they do remember that you heard them here first.

(What are some other possible VBS themes? Do you have any good VBS memories? Share away!)

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35 thoughts on “Prophetic Thursday: Vacation Bible School

  1. I am out of the VBS mode so I am blank. Sorry. Good memories? yep, when it is over. 🙂 Can you tell I don’t really have a fondness for VBS? If not, I can tell you how I really feel. But that would take away from the meaning of your post. LOL

  2. Superheroes are always awesome and they would make a great theme. I think you could also build a theme around a superstar NBA player who took his talents to South Beach and is 3 games away from winning his firs title.

  3. I have to admit: VBS has gotten way better since the time I was attending. The themes have been a lot of fun. My kids would totally be on board for the musical, but I bet you would have a hard time finding workers for that one! 🙂

  4. KID V. FOOD

    The elderly ladies of the church get the chance to put those young whippersnappers in their place once and for all! It’s a hundred little mouths versus the potluck cooking skills of women who remember when Betty White was a teenager.

  5. By the way, the New York City theme is the best theme for VBS. Just saying!

    I would like to see the UFC Theme. You can pair the kids up in the cage and the last 2 can battle it out in the cage just before the Sunday Sermon. You can preach on the need to overcome your opponent in the cage and the significance of your swollen ears.

    • Yeah–we’re bringing in garbage and big sewer rats to make the New York experience more believable 🙂

      I like the UFC idea–and I think that the cage could also be used for when 2 people in the church don’t get along.

  6. Child vs Wild is awesome! Plus, if you’re in a bigger church and don’t have enough volunteers for your children’s church, it’s a great way to thin the herd. lol

  7. I’m down for the Child vs Wild, too.

    You need to start that one off with the verse where the children mocked the prophet and the bears came out and ate them. Then release bears as your opening night animal.

    Daniel in the Lion’s Den is an obvious starter for the second night survivors. Taken with the first one, this reinforces the idea that the church is not responsible for the outcome, because really, if they were righteous enough kids, God wouldn’t let them get eaten.

    For the survivors of both, we can consider the story of David who fought the lion and the bear for encouragement.

    I’m thinking during the survival period, we could play variations off the Oompa-Loompa songs from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory:
    “If you’ve a child who is a…brat. Will they be eaten by a giant…cat?
    If you’ve an offspring who is a…shame. Go carve a tombstone with…their…name.
    Better run, they’re gaining!
    Oompa, Loompa, Doodley-doo…..”

  8. Oh my gosh, I laughed out loud when I read the first VBS theme you came up with. I thought, “Oh gosh, is he serious?” Sadly, growing up in the South, I wouldn’t put this past some of my Pentecostal brethren.

    I saw you at Tamara Out Loud and I was interested to read a pastor’s blog. So far, hilarious!

  9. VBS – Extreme Church Makeover Edition – kids get to redecorate the church with paint pens, glitter glue, foam stickies and construction paper. Move that (Church) Bus!

    • Oooh, I love this idea, Kristin. For added fun, don’t tell anyone you’re doing it beforehand, and “unveil” the newly redecorated sanctuary Sunday morning. Be sure to capture the reactions on camera as people come through the church doors.

  10. Here from Tamara’s site. Love these ideas. Our church once used a VBS curriculum called “Camping in Cambodia”, which caused my friend and I start a whole series of Vietnam War themed VBS jokes. None of them were the least bit child-appropriate, but they were funny!

  11. Child vs Wild. Hahaha… I bet there would be some praying going on there. What about Hell’s Kitchen theme… that would be a scary VBS. Gordon Ramsey could be the main speaker.

    I’m 2 days late but I’m behind on my Google Reader. Funny stuff as always Matt.

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