Distracting Words

Baseball/softball season is over for the Cannon kids which means no more late nights at the ball field. It also means that I won’t be hearing this annoying chant again soon:

“HEY BATTER, BATTER, BATTER! HEY, BATTER, BATTER, BATTER! HEY, BATTER, BATTER, BATTER! SWING!”

Not only is this chant annoying, I am also not convinced that it really distracts the batter. It seems like kids have gotten used to this chant and have learned to tune it out. And since it is no longer effective I believe that it is time Little League baseball teams learn to say other things to try to gain an advantage.

Here are a few of my suggestions for new distracting things to say while the other team is batting:

  • Soylent Green is People! Kids won’t understand the reference, but if said in loud enough this would still be enough to creep them out.
  • Knock-Knock Jokes. Infield: “Knock, Knock.” Outfield: “Who’s there?” Infield: “Batter dunnop.” Outfield: “Batter dunnop who?” Infield: “Hahahaha–Batter done a poo!” (Works best on younger teams).
  • An Emily Dickinson Poem. Because kids don’t hit well when they are bored.
  • Steven Wright Quotes. Best if the fielders take turns.
  • Lice. Just hearing the word “lice” makes my head itch;  hearing it all game long would probably cause me to pull my hair out.

I’m not sure that these suggestions would really distract batters on a ball field, but I know what distracts me in real life. 

And I know that I need to fight against it and put my focus on what really matters.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,
and all these things shall be added to you.
Matthew 6:33

God matters.

God’s kingdom matters.

God’s righteousness matters.

All the worries and fears that I fill my head and heart with do not matter.

Like a kid who is able to ignore the distractions and keep his eyes on the ball, I must ignore those things that steal my focus and keep my eyes on Jesus.

Just because it is difficult doesn’t mean that it is impossible.

(What other things could baseball teams say to distract their opponents? What easily distracts you? Share away!)

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46 thoughts on “Distracting Words

  1. If I haven’t mentioned it before, I am highly impressed by your ability to pull a Jesus Juke so big it’s more like a U-turn. Jon Acuff should come to you for advice.

    I agree with the “hey batter batter” not working. I mean, you don’t see that going on at MLB games, ya know. Brian Regan put it best….

  2. I watch the Little League World Series (Williamsport, PA is where my family is from) most every year. I always get a giggle out of the Japanese families who are extremely “supportive” of their baseball team. Cow bells, synchronized chants, flag waving – it’s amazing. However, I once saw a neat documentary about high school baseball. There are actually cheer captains who lead the team supporters in chants and cheers during the game. If their team is losing or loses, the cheer captain actually believes that it is his fault for the loss of the game; that he could not lead the student body well enough, that their cheers weren’t supportive enough for the team and so the team lost. Can you imagine the weight of that responsibility on your shoulders? I sure can’t.

    So yeah, I’ve never understood the yelling support towards the team’s batter. We’re watching the NCAA softball championship (Go Gators!) and the girl’s always cheer when their team is at bat. I giggle and think, “Really? Shhhh!”

    I get distracted easily. I did when I played softball and I do in my spiritual life. I get distracted by the people around me instead of focusing on God and what He would have me do. It’s frustrating for me. I don’t want to be that way. But yet, here I sit with no church home because I can’t look past a barrel of bad apples at my small church. In my head I see them as these pests floating around and spreading negativity. I think, forget it. I’m so not going to church there anymore. And it’s my loss. I can’t overlook them, I’m distracted by their chants, and I’m losing the game.

    • Thanks for your honesty. I can see how this is a problem for more than just you. Sounds like you already know what you need to do, so I won’t give you any advice on that part of it. Seems like the people that have had this issue in my life have gone to a larger church for a while so that they can better avoid those who distract them. This may not work for you–but it might. Will definitely be praying for you.

      • Right now I’m pretty open to just about anything, except going back to my “home” church. I know I’m not a saint in my church; I have bad feelings towards some there and probably have spoken when I should not have. It’s just so awful to watch the body of Christ tear each other down, sometimes on purpose! I just can’t go back to that. Not right now. I lose myself in the chatter and can’t worship; even when a lot of the chatter is my angry thoughts rolling around in my head.

  3. Great stuff. I know they don’t have zippers on their pants but when someone laughs and says your fly is down it is a huge distraction. That might even work for little league batters.

  4. It’s good to know that chant is still going strong. I haven’t heard it since I was about 12 out on the diamond. I will admit that I probably screamed it the loudest.

    As far as for me, I can usually stay pretty fo….SQUIRREL!!!

  5. Hey, my daughter’s team just lost last night and is now in the loser’s bracket. They need all the help they can get. I will be sure to suggest the “lice” and “knock knock joke” to them. I’m serious! It’s a great idea!

    Steven Write? Are you the only other person besides me who knows who Steven Write is?

  6. Great stuff! I remember those chants from when I played baseball! Now I play competitive golf. Can’t cehant in that! haha

  7. I think a very distracting chant is saying over and over “the world is now ending on October 21” But you have to say it in a Harold Camping “voice”.

    You can’t really concentrate on the ball when you know the end is so near.

  8. Did you ever see the movie BASEketball? You could use any of the psyche-outs in that movie.

    As for what distracts me…life. I have way too many distractions and honestly have real trouble shutting them out. It’s hampering my walk with Christ.

    • Never saw it–but it might be worth taking a look out if there is a possibility of helping the team out next year 🙂

      And I’m with you on life being a distraction. Seems to be a lot of stuff going on all of the time and a lot of things that continually run through my head.

  9. We had years and years of little league with our now 19 year old son. Those were the fun years – and we laughed the most at some of those games – not at the boys – but at the Umpire and some of the parents – talk about distracting! One infamous game – my daughter and I were sitting behind the catcher and Umpire and every time one of those little boys didn’t swing at something good – the Umpire (a great big black man) would turn to the side – take a stance – point his finger to NOBODY and SHOUT – “STEEEERYYYYYYYYYYYK.” OH MY GOODNESS. This happened A LOT during the game and we were just ROLLING on the grass laughing. I mean – COME ON!! It was HILARIOUS.

  10. Like a kid who is able to ignore the distractions and keep his eyes on the ball, I must ignore those things that steal my focus and keep my eyes on Jesus. Just because it is difficult doesn’t mean that it is impossible.

    Love that part.

    To your question at the end: I’m not sure about things distracting at a baseball game, but when i played in highschool, it always drove us nuts when we played next to a softball game. We weren’t used to all that chanting and singing!

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