Baseball/softball season is over for the Cannon kids which means no more late nights at the ball field. It also means that I won’t be hearing this annoying chant again soon:
“HEY BATTER, BATTER, BATTER! HEY, BATTER, BATTER, BATTER! HEY, BATTER, BATTER, BATTER! SWING!”
Not only is this chant annoying, I am also not convinced that it really distracts the batter. It seems like kids have gotten used to this chant and have learned to tune it out. And since it is no longer effective I believe that it is time Little League baseball teams learn to say other things to try to gain an advantage.
Here are a few of my suggestions for new distracting things to say while the other team is batting:
- Soylent Green is People! Kids won’t understand the reference, but if said in loud enough this would still be enough to creep them out.
- Knock-Knock Jokes. Infield: “Knock, Knock.” Outfield: “Who’s there?” Infield: “Batter dunnop.” Outfield: “Batter dunnop who?” Infield: “Hahahaha–Batter done a poo!” (Works best on younger teams).
- An Emily Dickinson Poem. Because kids don’t hit well when they are bored.
- Steven Wright Quotes. Best if the fielders take turns.
- Lice. Just hearing the word “lice” makes my head itch; hearing it all game long would probably cause me to pull my hair out.
I’m not sure that these suggestions would really distract batters on a ball field, but I know what distracts me in real life.
And I know that I need to fight against it and put my focus on what really matters.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,
and all these things shall be added to you.
God’s kingdom matters.
God’s righteousness matters.
All the worries and fears that I fill my head and heart with do not matter.
Like a kid who is able to ignore the distractions and keep his eyes on the ball, I must ignore those things that steal my focus and keep my eyes on Jesus.
Just because it is difficult doesn’t mean that it is impossible.
(What other things could baseball teams say to distract their opponents? What easily distracts you? Share away!)