Prophetic Thursday: Christian-Themed Restaurants

Welcome to Prophetic Thursday here at the blog.  Every Thursday I will peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see the last 2 posts in this series click Here and Here.

Christian-Themed Restaurants

The Christians that I come into contact with love Jesus. Or at least they say they love Jesus; it’s kind of hard to tell sometimes. They may attend church services regularly or semi-regularly. They may know the right things to say like, “I’ll be praying for you” or “God is sooo good.” They may even have a WWJD? bracelet somewhere in their junk drawer. But it can still be difficult to tell by looking at someone whether they really love Jesus or not.

There is another thing, though, that I and my Christian friends love that is far more easily seen:

FOOD!

I am a pastor of a Baptist church and we like to eat. Potlucks, special meals, benefit dinners, ice cream socials (don’t make fun–that is what they’re called), hog jowl eating contests (ok, I made that one up)–we like them all.  And we like going out to eat. There have been a few times that I have seen a good percentage of the congregation at the local Cracker Barrel after the Sunday morning service. Warning–the managers do not like it when you try to take up an offering.

So since we love Jesus and food, why not combine those two loves by having more Christian-themed restaurants?

I know that there are some of these out there, but there aren’t many of them and none are very well-known (unless you count Chick-fil-A). 

Here are a few restaurants that I expect to see in the near future:

1.  Adam’s Ribs. Disclaimer–I know a guy with a catering business with this name. But I think it would be a great Christian-themed restaurant at a nudist resort. Or not. Nevermind.

2.  The Miraculous Loaves and Fish Buffet. All-you-can-eat bread and fish. The only drawback is that you have to sit outside on the grass and the food is delivered to you by smelly guys carrying baskets.

3.  Jacob’s Stew Shack. Rich and hearty, Jacob’s stew is exactly what a hungry man wants after a long day of hunting. And it will only cost you your birthright. Sounds like a good deal to me!

4.  John the Baptist’s House of Locusts and Honey. If there are people willing to eat cicada ice cream, then there would be people willing to eat locust and wild honey. The strict dress code of camel’s-hair clothing would probably cause problems, though.

5.  Ezekiel’s Sweet Scroll Palace. People need more fiber, right? And paper is high in fiber, right? It can’t be much worse than cabbage.

I know that most of these don’t sound very appealing. But I also know that a lot people are weird and are constantly on the look-out for new places to eat.

So don’t be surprised if you happen to see one of these restaurants open up near you at some point in the future. And if you do, remember that you heard it here first.

(What are some other possible Christian-themed restaurants? Would you eat cicada ice cream? Share away!)