Welcome to Prophetic Thursday here at the blog. Every Thursday I will peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see the last 2 posts in this series click Here and Here.
Christian-Themed Restaurants
The Christians that I come into contact with love Jesus. Or at least they say they love Jesus; it’s kind of hard to tell sometimes. They may attend church services regularly or semi-regularly. They may know the right things to say like, “I’ll be praying for you” or “God is sooo good.” They may even have a WWJD? bracelet somewhere in their junk drawer. But it can still be difficult to tell by looking at someone whether they really love Jesus or not.
There is another thing, though, that I and my Christian friends love that is far more easily seen:
FOOD!
I am a pastor of a Baptist church and we like to eat. Potlucks, special meals, benefit dinners, ice cream socials (don’t make fun–that is what they’re called), hog jowl eating contests (ok, I made that one up)–we like them all. And we like going out to eat. There have been a few times that I have seen a good percentage of the congregation at the local Cracker Barrel after the Sunday morning service. Warning–the managers do not like it when you try to take up an offering.
So since we love Jesus and food, why not combine those two loves by having more Christian-themed restaurants?
I know that there are some of these out there, but there aren’t many of them and none are very well-known (unless you count Chick-fil-A).
Here are a few restaurants that I expect to see in the near future:
1. Adam’s Ribs. Disclaimer–I know a guy with a catering business with this name. But I think it would be a great Christian-themed restaurant at a nudist resort. Or not. Nevermind.
2. The Miraculous Loaves and Fish Buffet. All-you-can-eat bread and fish. The only drawback is that you have to sit outside on the grass and the food is delivered to you by smelly guys carrying baskets.
3. Jacob’s Stew Shack. Rich and hearty, Jacob’s stew is exactly what a hungry man wants after a long day of hunting. And it will only cost you your birthright. Sounds like a good deal to me!
4. John the Baptist’s House of Locusts and Honey. If there are people willing to eat cicada ice cream, then there would be people willing to eat locust and wild honey. The strict dress code of camel’s-hair clothing would probably cause problems, though.
5. Ezekiel’s Sweet Scroll Palace. People need more fiber, right? And paper is high in fiber, right? It can’t be much worse than cabbage.
I know that most of these don’t sound very appealing. But I also know that a lot people are weird and are constantly on the look-out for new places to eat.
So don’t be surprised if you happen to see one of these restaurants open up near you at some point in the future. And if you do, remember that you heard it here first.
(What are some other possible Christian-themed restaurants? Would you eat cicada ice cream? Share away!)
Not a joke: our pastor’s son left staff to start a church/restaurant. It’s called 3rd Place. You can read about it here:
3rd Place Opens In Peoria.
The idea is that the restaurant can support the church, and the offerings can go right back into the community (instead of church costs). It’s a novel concept, and I hope it succeeds.
If you’re interested in learning more about the church, checkout http://www.saltandlightchurch.com
Cool idea. I hope it succeeds, too.
Jonah’s FishView Restaurant featuring fried intestines, fried fins, and…other stuff. Would I eat cicada ice cream? Not a chance. Not even with chocolate syrup poured all over it.
I’ll pass on the intestines. And I’m shocked that you wouldn’t eat cicada ice cream! I thought you we more adventurous than that.
Stronger brother cafe – all you can eat meat that has been sacrificed to idols. It’s not for everyone but those that eat there know that they aren’t the weaker brother that the Bible speaks of.
That one stinks. I tried to come up with something better but all I could keep thinking of was Jesus telling us to eat his flesh and drink his blood. I couldn’t find a way to make that funny so the stronger brother is what you get. Sorry.
I thought about the Last Supper, too and decided that it was too holy/important/amazing for me to try to make “a funny” out of.
Snicker!
Pharisee Phillies. The hygiene code is pretty intense and pork is banned, but at least all those pesky gentiles are left on the outs.
Hygiene code? Us Gentiles don’t need no stinkin’ hygiene code!
Pa-manna Bread Shop!
Nice–but the shelf-life of the bread it terrible.
“The Unfortunate Concubine” a place for friends. We divide delicious concubine into twelve pieces, limb by limb and deliver each piece throughout all the territory (Free delivery)
Content: http://bit.ly/m3ddWR
Note to self: never eat at Moe’s house. 🙂
You don’t have to. I deliver! 😀
I bet it would get pretty ripe delivering from NYC to TN. Yuck. 🙂
Genesis Coffee: “BEGIN your day with Genesis Coffee”!
That’s a money maker tright there.
#WINNER
I love this one. Great stuff Matt.
Thanks, man!
yes i would love to see more christian places all gods children need to let their lights brighter too many have fallen by the wayside and many are too proud to pray in public for someone or praise in public we need to get back to obeying the holy spirit
We should never be ashamed.
Oh, when you mentioned Ezekiel, I thought they were going to prepare it’s food in a slightly different way.
Of course, maybe the fiber from the paper can help with the fuel?
Oh dear.
Yeah—that’s pretty disgusting. Blech. Hoping to avoid being asked to do that.
Yeah, if God came through with a directive like that, I believe I’d be asking for some ID!
But if you did that He may answer you like He answered Job. From out of a whirlwind! Yikes!
Gah! That was my idea! Great minds think alike. And so do ours.
Noah’s Arky Arky: Feast on anything and everything. (Yea..that’s the best that I can do).
And no in the heck would I eat cicada ice cream Gross.
That would be a BIG restaurant.
Oh my goodness. I’ve never heard of ANY of those restaurants. But we knew of some Hispanic people who had a Mexican restuarant in town. Does that count?
They aren’t real—but they definitely should be 🙂
No cicada ice cream for me. I don’t even like chocolate-covered ants…and I like chocolate on almost anything. Maybe another theme idea would be The Widow’s Bottomless Cruse. Of course, cornbread alone might be a boring menu.
Put a few beans on the cornbread and I’m there.
Oh yeah…I’m all over that too!
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House of Manna.
Food falls down from the ceiling and you just pick up what you want and eat it.
It would get a little messy with chicken-n-dumplins.
WWJD = Where Would Jesus Dine?
Hey, how about a wine and cheese place called Cheeses of Nazareth?
Cheeses of Nazareth–awesome!
Bring your own water to drink – for a small fee Cheezes of Nazareth will turn it into wine!
Or maybe sweet tea?
Samson’s Lion Man House of BBQ–where everything is honey glazed, and all they play is Mumford & Sons
Chitlins on a Spit–by Ehud
Jael’s Sweetbreads–home of chilled, baked, sautéed, seared, and pan-fried brains
I think you may be onto something with a couple of those.
How about Elijah’s Broom Bush?
Great bread. Great drink.
You’d better fill up. There ain’t another place to eat for MILES!
If it’s good enough for Elijah…… 🙂
Somewhere there’s a tie in to Peter and the fish with the coin in it’s mouth.
Great stuff! Thank you for the chuckle. You should compile these into an eBook or something.
I’ve never thought about it. Might look into it eventually. Thanks for the encouragement.
Fried Locust?
Sounds delicious.
My pastor has an idea of opening Shadrach’s – for a HOT cup o’Joe
I like we should have a Living H2O bar. Just water, but it’s awfully filling.
The only problem would be a lack of repeat customers because if you drink it you never thirst again.
I’m the idea woman, not so much on business 😉
I understand 🙂
[…] Matt Cannon takes us on a tour of Christian-themed restaurants. […]
Hey guys and girls – pretty funny and really creative. My fav was ‘Cheeses of Nazareth’.
But seriously now … a buddy just called me – a businessman in Texas. He’s thinking about starting a praise and worship restaurant franchise – for real. He described it as a Jason’s Deli/Sonic idea with praise and worship music playing. I shot back a Hard Rock Cafe type theme, but with the Christian Music industry endorsement/decor. It would be a for-profit, but all the profits would be pushed back to ministry.
My buddy comes up with some uber-unique ideas but he’s got the will and the capital to back them up and sometimes they work out well – ever heard of clear plastic orthodontic braces? (I won’t say the brand name).
Is something like this doable in this society or am I missing a trap door. Would love the comments.
Thanks,
Yes–depending on the demographics. In the South would be the best place in a highly populated area. Sounds great to me!
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I am planning opening a seafood restaurant, any thoughts on my possible business name, ‘The Red Sea’, ( a home of fresh seafoods)
Any thoughts?