What Was Methuselah Really Like?

If I live to be a thousand years old, I hope that I am in good health.

Yeah–I know. It will be nearly impossible to live to be 1,000. After all, no one that we know of has done it. Even good, ‘ol Methuselah checked out at 969. I wonder if he lived a hundred good, active years and then spent the rest of his 869 years in a rocking chair or riding around on a Jazzy-type contraption pulled by a mule.

To tell the truth, I have never thought much about Methuselah and what he was like as the years kept going by. But here are a few things I believe that he was as he headed past the big 9-0-0.

1. Smelly. I’m almost certain that if I lived to be past 500 that I would stop caring so much about personal hygiene. Instead, I would be focused on the important things like breathing and not dying. Plus I’m certain that they didn’t have Axe back then. But they probably had Old Spice.

2. Cynical. I can imagine Methuselah sitting around, listening to the plans of the younger guys and thinking, “Yeah–I remember being that naive when I was 600-years-old, too. Morons.”

3. Bad with names. I have five kids and I am pretty sure that my youngest thinks her name is No-Bra-Jo-Ma-Mary Hope. Can you imagine what Methuselah may have called his great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great (I’m getting tired of typing great), grand-children with all of the names he had to remember swirling in his head. “Hey, Sha-She-Je-Ne-Kal-Tre-Phe-Cra-Ba-Ze-Pol-Sol-Ra-Dru-Me-Smo-Gre-Shi-Ple-Xe-Ho-Le-Tra-Ne-Fra-Awwwww–forget it.”

4. Uninhibited. It seems that as people get older they become more apt to freely share their opinions on just about everything. I would say that everyone knew exactly where they stood with Methuselah. And his wife probably quit asking him if every dress made her look fat long before he hit 900.

5. Bald. Even if Methuselah had a luxurious mane of hair for years and years, I would say that it would all eventually disappear. Of course, by that time his ear-hair would have been long enough to have the most amazing comb-over that the world has ever seen.

It is quite possible that Methuselah was none of these things. I have no idea, really. I do know that I will never reach 969-years-old.

At least not in this present world.

But I will in the world to come.

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 6:23

We are not promised another day, another hour, another second. None of us really know when our time here will be over.

However, those of us who follow Christ know that when our time here is done, our time There will just be beginning.

So, I won’t reach 969 years old here.

But I will live forever in the presence of my King.

And that is far better.

What do you think Methuselah was like?
What are some of the things that your are looking forward to about Heaven?

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16 thoughts on “What Was Methuselah Really Like?

  1. Methuselah to me looked like Gandalf from Lord of the rings movies. So to me he always had hair. Or maybe that’s his ear hair with a massive comb-over as you described.

    I also think that he had no teeth. Teeth can’t possibly provide enough calcium to live almost a millenium. I could be wrong.

    Personally, the presence of Jesus is what I’m looking forward the most. But also, to hang out with you. I’m going to be playing some pranks on you. It’s going to be a blast. 🙂

  2. Short with long flowing white hair and a beard. I don’t know why – aren’t all Bible characters like this? Especially the old testament. I look forward to having some of the answers and going right to the source to get them.

  3. He would fart and not hear it. My grandpa was 96 when he died and his hearing was shot. He would fart all the time and think it was a silent one. It wasn’t. It was funny. Especially when he did it out in public.

  4. Dude, I was in tears (LOLIT) as I read this to my wife. Then she saddened me when she asked, “How do you come up with all that stuff?” I had to tell her I didn’t.

    BTW, spellcheck kept trying to make me say LOLITA. I always thought there was something “not right” about spellcheck.

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