Caption Contest Monday: Clean-Shaven Matt

For those wondering why I have facial hair–the above picture is the answer. It was taken a few years ago before I grew tired of shaving my whole face.

It is also the picture that I look at whenever I think I should shave.

If I had to describe this picture in one word, that one word would be “turrible.” I know I spelled terrible wrong; it was on purpose.

With that out of the way–let’s have some fun.

Give me a psychological profile based upon just this picture.

That’s right–forget everything you know about me (my name, occupation, history, calling, everything) and tell me what’s the deal with this guy in the picture.

Winner gets a virtual fist bump and my gratitude.

Have fun and stay safe!

***********************Update**********************

And the winner and recipient of a #fistbump is…..

DUSTY!

“Would you like a lolly-pop?”

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35 thoughts on “Caption Contest Monday: Clean-Shaven Matt

  1. Off the top of my head (and heeding your admonition to forget what I know of you), I’m put in mind of Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams (in the first film); when asked what she’s dressed as for Halloween, she replies:

    “I’m a homicidal maniac. We look just like everyone else.”

    That being an old movie, here’s a more contemporary example:

    “Robert’s got a quick hand
    He’ll look around the room
    He won’t tell you his plan
    He’s got a rolled cigarette hanging out his mouth
    He’s a cowboy kid
    Yeah, he found a six-shooter gun
    In his dad’s closet hidden in a box of fun things
    And I don’t even know what
    But he’s coming for you, yeah, he’s coming for you

    All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
    You’d better run, better run, outrun my gun
    All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
    You’d better run, better run, faster than my bullet
    All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
    You’d better run, better run, outrun my gun
    All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
    You’d better run, better run, faster than my bullet”

    –Foster the People, “Pumped Up Kicks”

    Ok, so there’s my Psych 101 profile. What do I win?

    πŸ˜‰

  2. “Hi, my name is Matt. I keep all my toenail clippings in a jar in the back of my closet. Wanna see?”

    A couple of years ago, I decided to shave off my beard just to see how it looked. Yeah, I’d forgotten just how much of a “baby face” I really have. I don’t think I’ll be doing that again any time soon….

  3. Hi, my name is Hagrid and I’m in training as a guidance counselor to young wizards. One day, I hope to grow a wicked awesome beard and make an impact on the lives of some prodigious Hogwarts students.

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