Prophetic Thursday: Biblical Halloween Decorations

 Prophetic Thursday is where I peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see a couple of my favorite posts in this series click Here and Here.

Biblical Halloween Decorations

When I was a kid, my parents would buy my brother and I a costume the day before Halloween and then the next day we would dress up go to a few houses to trick or treat. All of the people we visited we either related to us or older members of our church. We would come home with half a bag of candy. And a banana from my Great Aunt Viola.

Now, people (including me and my wife) start thinking about/buying  costumes for their kids at least a month before Halloween. There are Halloween activities for at least two weeks before Oct. 31st. . My kids end up with enough candy to feed New Jersey.

One of the big winners in this Halloween bonanza are the stores that sell Halloween decorations. Christian stores aren’t included in the bonanza because they don’t sell them. At least not yet.

Even though churches have gotten into the act with Trunk-or-Treats and other such things, Christian stores haven’t yet jumped into the fray. I think it is mainly because they would feel weird selling regular Halloween decorations.

This is why I am sure that we will one day see some of these Biblical Halloween decorations

1. The Headless Philistine. Unbeknownst to some, David didn’t just kill Goliath–he beheaded the big guy. That’s right, David used Goliath’s own sword against him. I can’t think of a better way to get some attention from the kids in the neighborhood than having a big blow-up decapitated Goliath in the front yard. (1 Samuel  17)

2. Lazarus the Mummy. If Ice-T was an O.G. (Original Gangsta), then Lazarus was an O.M. (Original Mummy). He was dead for 4 days before Jesus called him from the grave and he came out covered in grave-clothes. Plus, he stank. If a Christian store carried  robotic walking mummies that stink and give praise to God I am sure that they would make a LOT of money. (John 11)

3. The Witch of Endor. There is a witch mention in the Bible and a place named Endor?!?! Yes and yes. But the Endor in the Bible is not the same one that is in The Return of the Jedi. There aren’t any Ewoks in the Bible. Sorry nerds*. *I’m a nerd, too. (1 Samuel  28)

4. Demon-filled Pigs. Jesus met a demon possessed man in Gergesenes and removed the demons by casting them into the pigs. The pigs then ran off of a cliff into the sea. Can you imagine giving candy to some unsuspecting kids at your door and then sending a bunch of squealing battery-operated stuffed pigs running off of the porch behind them? I can–it would be amazing. (Matthew 8 )

5. The Locusts of Revelation. You know, the ones from the bottomless pit with the bodies of horses, faces of men, hair like women, lion teeth, and scorpion-like tails. Put a couple of those out in your yard and you won’t have to buy candy for trick-or-treaters. Ever. (Revelation 9)

I hope that Christian stores never  do this. I hope that they should stick with trying to provide uplifting, convicting, and challenging books, music, and other items to those who are striving to grow in the faith.

I really don’t think that they ever will  go this route. But if they do, remember that you heard it here first.

What other Biblical Halloween Decorations can you come up with?
Think about your childhood Halloween costumes–which one was your favorite?

***Like all Prophetic Thursday posts, this post was intended to be humorous and is not intended to be serious in any way. It may even prompt a few folks to read often overlooked passages of the Bible; which is a good thing. Hopefully you weren’t offended. If you were, please accept this apology. And “borrow” some Halloween candy from one of your kids (or any kid)–that always makes me feel better 🙂 ***

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33 thoughts on “Prophetic Thursday: Biblical Halloween Decorations

  1. Very entertaining post!

    It’s late and I am long due for bed. However, you gave me quite a chuckle so I feel compelled to try to get the ball rolling.

    Neither of these are particularly “Halloweenish”. However, they both play on personal fears of mine so I suppose they may do the same for others.

    My fear of snakes easily rivals that of Dr. Henry Jones. That said, the thought of sticks (or even just a staff) turning into snakes just creeps me out.

    As a wee lad, Jonah’s whale absolutely horrified me. This carried over to prevent me from ever being able to watch Pinocchio as well. I’m not certain how you’d market this one.

    Take care!

  2. Off the top of my head, there’s the “garments spotted by the flesh” of Jude 23–clearly clothes worn by zombies. 😉

    Then there’s the ever-popular “Sodom & Gomorrah Living Diorama”–a perennial Halloween favorite.

    And instead of a haunted house, what about the “Hothouse”–where the worm doesn’t turn, etc.?

    In fact, we need a whole new para-church organization–called “Fear Ministries”–to scare the Jesus into folks. It could work. What do you think?*

    *Ok, I’m just playing along with Matt’s post. I wouldn’t want any of those things to become a reality.

  3. We could have a dummy hanging from a tree with his head in the branches like Absalom with someone (Joab) putting 3 javelins into him. you could have a fake bear (a real one could be sort of testy) coming out of the woods and eating the bullies (Elijah). I like your pig one. That scene makes me chuckle. is that like the little piggy who went wee-wee-wee all the way home?

  4. Hey these might actually be some of the more interesting things found in Christian book stores. I’d be more likely to buy the demon-filled pigs than a Kinkaid painting 🙂

  5. LOL! Woe…those were really good Matt…

    i got nothing today….sad i know…its way too early round these here parts!

  6. I’m surprised no one’s suggested Ezekiel’s army of dry bones yet. There’s even already skeletons available. Start with a few thousand skellys, add some flesh and sinews on some of them, apply some anamatronics so they can stand up on the prophet’s command…good to go. :>

  7. For a costume – how about the dolled faced (in my imagination) bloodied Jael from Judges 4:14-22 with a peg in one hand and a cup of milk in the other.

    For decoration, her victim, Sisera – pegged to the floor through his temple.

  8. The great white whore. 🙂

    My favorite holloween costume was when I once dressed up as a sperm cel and my girlfriend as the egg. We won that year.

  9. If you could dress up like Elijah and re-enact him calling sown fire from heaven, that would be cool. It would probably mean you would have to borrow some high tech laser. The danger would be if it strayed a bit and took out some kid, but that would definitely gain you some street credit.

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