Prophetic Thursday: Preaching NBA Stars

Prophetic Thursday is where I peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see the last 2 posts in the series click Here and Here.

Preaching NBA Stars

I don’t keep up with what animals are on the endangered species list. This also means that I have no idea what animals are the most recent additions to the list. But I do know who may be added to the list very soon…

NBA fans.

The popularity of the NBA has been falling in recent years with only momentary increases of fan interest. Now with the lock-out still going strong with no end in sight it seems that NBA fans are becoming even more scarce.

The lockout is also causing NBA stars to think about spending their time doing other things. I don’t think that it will be long before some of them return to their religious roots and begin preaching. Or trying to preach.

Here are a few NBA stars we might see behind the pulpit in the near future and how they might fare:

1. Lebron James. Preaching from the King James Version (naturally), Lebron goes strong through the sermon’s introduction and three points before falling apart during the conclusion.

2. Chris Bosh. He thinks he’s  as good as Lebron, but he’s not. He’s really, REALLY not. He  would be much better if he still looked like the Predator.

3. Kobe Bryant. After whining during the song service because the Worship Leader isn’t good enough and holds on to the microphone too long, he preaches a masterful  sermon that everyone agrees is almost as good as the best preacher of all time. Still, no one likes him.

4. Kevin Garnett. He preaches a few sermons, gets hurt, and finds someone to fill in for him. And while his sub preaches, Garnett makes intimidating faces at the congregation.

5. Allen Iverson. “You want me to practice my sermons? You talkin’ about practice. Not a service, not a service. But practice!”

6. Tim Duncan. Not flashy, but he gets the job done.  Especially if his balding, Argentinian sidekick is with him.

7. Blake Griffin. Young and raw, but you know he’s gonna be great someday. Plus, he emphasizes his points by jumping over the pulpit and occasionally elbowing choir members.

If this really did happen, there would finally be some preachers taller than me. But I really hope it doesn’t happen. Preachers should be called by God to preach, not just do it because they have nothing else to do.

But if this does eventually occur, remember that you heard it here first.

What other NBA players (or other athletes) can you imagine preaching one day?


23 thoughts on “Prophetic Thursday: Preaching NBA Stars

  1. I know of one former NBA player at least that does preach. Meadowlark Lemon, formerly the “Clown Prince” of the Harlem Globetrotters. 🙂

    Beyond that, I will just point out that I did not know there was a lockout going on. That’s how much I follow basketball.

    Maybe Shaq’s next reality series could be him touring the country competing with various pastors in a preach-off contest?

  2. I was a huge NBA fan back in the day. The Jordan, Ewing, Barkley days. I haven’t watched a single NBA game in about 5 years. Don’t care for the game anymore.

    I do keep on top of NBA news from time to time.

    I think you would be wise to add Pat Riley, even if he’s owner of a team. He looks like a preacher with cool hair that handles snakes. 🙂

  3. Tim Duncan is not flashy but in my opinion he is one of the biggest whiners in the NBA. If he gets touched in the lane he starts crying. I love the NBA can’t wait for the lock out to be over!

  4. Charles Barkley would be the one spitting through his sermons.

    Dennis Rodman the multi-colored, multi-culture, multi-everything church pastor.

  5. With a name like Christian Lattener you have to become a preacher. And kick the chairman of the deacons in the gut if they get in your way.

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