Well, THE Ohio State University is back to being mentioned over and over again (at least for a few days) due to Urban Meyer being hired as their head football coach. Sadly, they didn’t take any of my suggestions. Whatever–their loss.
That they didn’t listen to me doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is how they emphasize the “THE” when they say their name. THE Ohio State University. THE Ohio State University. THE Ohio State University.
But it has also given me an idea. I think that other things should have an emphatic THE in front of their names just for funsies. Here are a few suggestions:
1. THE restroom. There really isn’t a more important room in any building than THE restroom. It is time THE restroom gets the honor and attention that it deserves.
2. THE Walmart. This is already how their greeters say it–“Welcome to THE Walmart.” Why not make it official? It would also give THE Walmart a certain je ne sais quoi. Or something.
3. THE toaster oven. I feel more sorry for THE toaster oven than I do any other kitchen appliance. Once the microwave came along, THE toaster oven wasn’t deemed as important. But put the THE in front of it and it’s importance sky rockets. THE toaster oven!
4. THE Seeking Pastor. There is already a “the” at the front of this blog title, but it isn’t emphasized. THE Seeking Pastor makes me sound more important, more official. It makes me feel like if I had a football team and paid the players enough that I could win the Big Ten Championship and then get beat by a Southeastern Conference team in a bowl game.
Of course, we could all put THE in front of our names to make ourselves sound more important. However, this is really unnecessary.
God, who created and sustains all that is, already knows our names.
We are already important. You are already important.
We are loved by THE Almighty God.
This is more than enough.
What else should have an emphatic THE in front of its name?
How do you feel about God knowing your name?