I am currently wearing two socks; one on each foot like normal people do it. Both socks have holes at the toes and the holes have progressively gotten bigger. Wearing socks like this bothers some people, but not me. In fact if I don’t wear my socks like this at some point during their life-span then I consider myself a frugality failure.
As I sit here pondering my socks I have come to the realization that there are many different types of sock holes, yet amazingly no one to my knowledge has ever taken the time to categorize them. Thankfully the time for such a categorization has arrived.
While this list may not be exhaustive, I assure you that it is accurate.
1. The Toe Choker. This type of hole is normally found around the big toe trying desperately to choke the life out of it. The choking of the toe might be a coincidence, however I am becoming more convinced this is the sock’s way of retaliating against the toe for causing the hole in the first place. Thankfully there is a remedy for this senseless sock hole violence. Putting a sock with this type of hole on the other foot causes the hole to appear above the “pinkie” toe and normally holes don’t have the heart to harm this toe considering the damage that is inflicted upon it by tables, chairs, and other items in the dark.
2. The Spider Web. Appearing in most cases around the heel area of dress socks, this type of hole is really a series of several holes lined up in columns and rows threatening to invade the upper part of the sock. One must take great care when putting socks like this on so as not to break through the web and jam one’s whole heel through the sock, tearing the sock in two, and making it look like you are wearing a leg-warmer. Has this ever really happened? Yes–yes it has.
3. The Down Under. Because it normally doesn’t increase in size or cause any real irritation, this hole is seen by many as the best kind to have. However, beware when reclining while wearing socks with these types of holes; they are magnets for the fingers of little kids and the noses of small dogs.
4. The Expander. Beginning in most cases as cute little holes over one of the three toes between the big toe and the pinkie, these holes have the ability to expand rapidly and without any prior warning. If left unchecked they have the ability to decimate a sock within minutes. Dealing with these holes quickly and without regard to the repercussions is essential.
5. The destroyer. Not always as menacing as the name implies, this hole can be any size. But it is always–ALWAYS–on the upper part of the sock making it impossible to cover up and impossible to keep wearing without a great deal of embarrassment and chagrin. (Note–I’m not completely sure what chagrin is, but I think it is bad.)
Sock holes are bad and can cause great aggravation and woe. This does not stop me from wearing socks with holes in them, though. The main reason for this is I was taught as a child to “get the good out of” pretty much anything and everything. This means that I strive to use most items all the way until they become absolutely unusable.
This is also how I want Jesus to use me–until I become absolutely unusable. It is my desire to spend the life He has given me lifting us and honoring His holy name. I want to be completely spent in the King’s service.
Because He is worth it. The Gospel is worth it. I want to spend this life and the life to come showing my love for Christ because He first loved me. I want Him to “get the good out of” me because without Him I wouldn’t have any good in me to begin with.
And when holes appear in my life, I know His grace will be sufficient for me all the way into His arms.
Can you think of any other types of sock holes?
Do you try to “get the good out of” things or do you throw things out at the first sign of trouble?