Toenail Clippers and Christmas

There is one thing that people my age can almost always agree on: the world may never know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.

Do you remember that commercial? The one with the owl? Seems like I saw it every Saturday while watching cartoons back when cartoons were, you know, good. Yes, I know there are a few good ones, like….well, there might be some good ones I haven’t seen. Anyway, knowing exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop was seen as an impossible thing to know.

Another impossible thing to know is exactly how many toenail clippers are currently somewhere in my house.

For the past several years, I have purchase new clippers at least every other month. The common pattern is: 1) I buy clippers, 2) I use them a few times, 3) I lose clippers, 4) Repeat.

Why do my clippers go missing so frequently? I have a few ideas:

1. They go into hiding. After being used on my ugly, big toe a few times, it’s possible that they simply can’t take it any more. They might change their name and join the Toenail Protection Agency. Maybe they are huddled together in the back of the same drawer, hoping to never be found. Who knows? But it’s a possibility.

2. One of my five tax deductions loses them. You think it’s unloving for me to refer to my children as tax deductions? So be it. When you have to help do as much laundry as I have to, then we can talk about it.

3. They are abducted by aliens. Why do we think only humans are abducted by aliens? Why not squirrels, or dvd players, or toenail clipper, or my wife’s chihuahuas?

4. My wife’s chihuahuas ate them. I wouldn’t put anything past those little idiots.

Regardless of the reason, I really have no idea how many toenail clippers we have somewhere in our house.

There’s also something far more important that I don’t know: why God loves me like He does.

I know what the Bible says about God’s love for me, but it still boggles my mind. I suppose it always will.

The great thing about this is that I don’t have to know exactly why He loves me in order to enjoy His love for me.

This is what I have been thinking about this Christmas season. I encourage you to join me.

What is something you lose with stunning regularity?
What’s on your mind this Christmas season?


11 thoughts on “Toenail Clippers and Christmas

  1. I have toenail clippers that are just mine. I keep them in my drawer. My wife is notorious for borrowing them and…you guessed it…forgetting to put them back. Then I have to go hunting. Good thing divorce is not an option. I tend to put things away when done so I can’t remember anything I lose with regularity…except my mind or sanity.

  2. I’m telling you, we have someone who comes into our house and either hides things or steals them. We’ve been looking for a couple things for several years. If you see our landscaping plan can you let me know? Thanks!

  3. Even at the podiatry office where I work, toenail clippers (we call them nail nippers there) vanish. I have wondered why God gave us toenails – there’s no real good purpose for them. It must have been that creative flare of his – he created them just because he could.

    What you need are very LARGE nail nippers. That way they can’t hide so easily.

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