Prophetic Thursday: Christian Sharknado Rip-offs

Prophetic Thursday used to be a weekly occurrence on the blog. It was when I humorously peered down the pike and tried to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. Do a search over to the right of “Prophetic Thursday” if you want some examples. Anyway–it’s back! At least for one day. Enjoy!

Christianized Sharknado Rip-offs

Unless you pay absolutely no attention to television, you have probably heard about Sharknado. Basically, it is a made-for-tv science-fiction disaster film that aired on the SyFy channel about a tornado (actually a hurricane/water-spout) that lifts man-eating sharks out of the ocean in the air and deposits them in Los Angeles. Amazingly it has been watched by several million people.

There was another television event that was watched by even more people–The Bible miniseries. If you want to know what it was about, well…pick up your Bible and read.

So what do these two television events have to do with what we should be expecting in the future? I don’t know much about producing television shows, but it seems to me that producers are constantly looking for ways to rip-off other successful programs.

And with Sharknado being such a success and with faith-based shows and movies being consistently popular, I expect Christian Sharknado rip-offs to be hitting movie or tv screens very soon. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Joel Osteen Smile-Nami. After a freak radioactive accident multiplies the number of Joel Osteen’s teeth, the city of Houston is besieged by a flood of his shiny smiles. Havoc ensues!

2. Hymnado. You remember those old hymnals your music minister hid in a closet? They’re back for revenge as a tornado picks them up and sets them loose on the congregation. Havoc ensues!

3. T.D. Jakes-Quake. While getting too riled up while preaching, Jakes falls off-stage, hits the people in the front row causing the rest of his massive congregation to fall like dominoes triggering a massive earthquake. Havoc ensues!

4. John Piper Gesture-I-Cane. Piper’s wild, karate like gestures are legendary; imagine if they were multiplied in a freak radioactive accident (there seems to be a lot of those happening) and set loose on the Twin Cities! Havoc would ensue!

5. Seminary Student-Alanche. A popular seminary student hang-out high in the mountains becomes overly crowded and collapses sending seminary students crashing into the town below sending skinny jeans, theology books, and misapplied Spurgeon quotes flying. Havoc ensues!

I realize that these suggestions are silly and have little chance of happening. What I really want to see are more depictions of real followers of Christ living real lives and facing real problems with the help of their real Savior.

But if any of these movies are ever made remember–you heard it here first.

What are your suggestions for Christian Sharknado rip-offs?