More Appropriate Shampoo Names

I use Suave shampoo. Is it because I am suave? Um…no. Sometimes when I use it, I feel like a fraud. I’m not suave.

I use Suave because it is fairly inexpensive compared to other brands. And because it is the kind my wife buys.

What are some more appropriate shampoo names for me? Here are a few suggestions

1. Forever the Same. See that picture to the right? My hair has been that  way since birth. Maybe even before birth. It’s possible that my hair has been that way since conception.

2. Prematurely Gray. Wanna make a joke about my gray hair? Go ahead–I’ve been hearing them since my early twenties. And you’ve been ugly even longer. Sorry–that was the gray hair talking.

3. Dork. With celebrity spokesperson Bill Gates.

4. N.T.H. Not televangelist hair. Because I don’t have televangelist hair. Or teeth. Or fashion sense. Or bad theology (I kid, I kid–mostly).

5. Not Quite. As in: Do I have good hair? Not quite.

I doubt any shampoo will ever be named any of these. So I’ll keep using suave even though I’m not suave.

The thing is, I’ve never pretended to be suave.

There are some people, though, who do pretend.

Some pretend to be caring. Some pretend to be kind. Some pretend to be Christians.

There have been times I have pretended to be these things. Maybe you have, too.

Thankfully, God’s grace was sufficient for me to overcome those times, to become what I sometimes pretended to be.

And His grace will see me home.

What are some more appropriate names for your shampoo? How have you overcome the desire to be a pretender?


12 thoughts on “More Appropriate Shampoo Names

  1. I pray about it. I ask God to help me be real. To help me care more about what He thinks than what others do. I struggle with this. As for shampoo I don’t need a lot of it these days.

  2. I use whatever my wife buys, which usually includes brands with names that are, to me, unpronounceable. Like:


    Skinny Melon Everyday Hair Shine Body Goop

    Mango Chutney

    I went to a Ransomed Heart retreat last year, and one of the sessions was on this very thing: laying aside the poser. It was rough, but rewarding, stuff.

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