Welcome to Prophetic Thursday here at the blog. Every Thursday I will peer down the pike and try to give you a heads up on what to expect within Christianity in the near and not so near future. To see the last 2 posts in this series click Here and Here.
How Many Minutes in Where?
In 2004 we were treated to 90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper. It was a bestseller.
In 2006 we were treated to 23 Minutes in Hell by Bill Wiese. It was also a bestseller.
And then…..
NOTHING.
A proven formula had presented itself to writers and publishers, yet no other books have been written using this pattern. Yet.
Now that sales are fading and publishers are doing all that they can do to survive, I fully expect them to remember the success of these 2 books and exploit this formula for all that it’s worth.
Here are a few possible book titles to get them started:
1. 6 Minutes in the Microwave–A popcorn kernel experiences scorching heat and lives to tell the tale.
2. 72 Minutes in the Restroom–Having a leftover Krystal hamburger for breakfast wasn’t a good idea.
3. 109 Minutes in Purgatory–Because Catholics read books, too.
4. 207 Minutes in Wal-Mart–A bi-vocational pastor with 5 kids and a wonderful wife from Alabama tells of his average trip to the local super center.
5. 574 Minutes in a Cat Carrier–Fluffy opens up about what she really did on her car ride across three states.
6. 12 Minutes in Hiding–The true story of what happened to Lebron James in the 4th period of the last NBA Finals game.
7. 60 Minutes in an Amway Meeting–Detailing the longest hour of my life.
Would any of these books be bestsellers? No. Would some of them eventually be used to level coffee tables? Yes. Do any of them even have a chance of being written? Probably not.
But if they do remember that you heard it here first.
What other books could be written using this formula? Share away!
The Seeking Pastor 
Amway meeting…circles and circle and more circles…make it stop!
Please–MAKE IT STOP 🙂
15 Minutes in a Farted In Car – For those who truly want to know what the lake of fire from Revelation will smell like
Especially when a contest has ensued.
5 to 10 minutes till Nap Time: trying to read Velvet Elvis or any of his other “books.”
Don’t hold back–tell us how you really feel 🙂
30 Minutes In The Grocery Store…Because sometimes you can’f ind the one item your wife sent you there to get.
Made worse if you can’t find it because you can’t remember what you were going for.
I know right. Why does that always happen…
One of the leading causes of insanity.
180 Minutes in Church: Why Your Ancestor’s Pastor Was More Long-Winded Than Yours Ever Thought of Being.
Three hour sermons were common in the 1700s, before we invented 15 minute sermons, Shoney’s (gotta beat the Methodists there), and Sunday Football.
I try to remind people of this, but they don’t want to listen. And around here it’s the Cracker Barrel that makes people check their watches every 5 minutes.
4,320 Minutes in a Fish: Jonah’s Human Sushi Tale
Seems longer when you break it down into minutes.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
47 minutes in Kroger – the tale of a mother of four’s weekly interactions with the outside world.
47 minutes?!?! Only 47 minutes? Are you a grocery store ninja?
They still have Kroger’s where you are? They closed all of those in my area.
There are a few in the Knoxville area.
645 Minutes in an Alumninum Tube – one mission team’s flight experiences getting to Czech. =D
Calling an airplane a flying aluminum tube does not help a person’s confidence.
60 minutes in “testimony”
You know, you have someone tell you they want to “testify” and you give them a small part in service and they take up a whole hour.
If it feels like 5 minutes that’s okay–if it feels like an hour–oh my!
600 Minutes in Bed, or “My Best Night of Sleep Ever”
Page after page of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….
It would be a good book to go to sleep by.
7 Minutes in Limbo
How low can you go?
I’m 6’7”. So the answer is “not very.” 🙂
53,647,897 Minutes in Chicago Without a Cub’s World Series
Glad I’m not a Cubs fan.
Like Claire from the the cancelled show, Heroes, 2 Seconds in the InSinkErAtor. Or not. That would be a bloody mess! 😉
Ooooh–that was pretty gross/amazing.
“Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes” in my head.
Why I shouldn’t have watched Rent last night….
Now that is bad timing.
75394 minutes in the DMV, or, why you haven’t seen me in a week.
Self-explanatory.
Ugh–that’s terrible.